Business has a role preventing violence

“New Zealand Businesses are playing a significant role in supporting victims of domestic violence,” says White Ribbon Ambassador Anna Campbell, “but we need to do more.”

On Monday 1 April a new law comes into effect that allows for domestic violence leave of up to 10 working days.

“White Ribbon worked with The Warehouse to develop a business accreditation framework that ensures organisations have appropriate policy and training,” says Ms Campbell, “but we also need businesses to be involved in violence prevention.

“Our country has the highest rate of reported violence in the developed world. To change, this we need an all-of-society-approach. That is why White Ribbon supports and encourages businesses to prevent violence through education and awareness raising as part of our accreditation process.

“We’ve kept the process as simple as possible. Our team works with organisations to ensure their policies create a safe workspace. We’ve brought the best examples together so that organisations do not need to reinvent the wheel.

“We then train key staff so the organisation has the knowledge and skills to support victims and users of domestic abuse in the workplace and ultimately deliver the training themselves.

“Lastly we work with businesses to ensure they have violence prevention built into their yearly activities, and where possible, this includes both employees and to customers. This ensures that we are not just working with victims and survivors, but helping to break the cycle of family violence by supporting those who use violence to change” says Ms Campbell.

For more information about White Ribbon’s free Accreditation program contact White Ribbon contact@whiteribbon.org.nz

Law Commission Report could help family violence sexual victims

The Law Commission today publishes its report The Second Review of the Evidence Act 2006 – Te Arotake Tuarua i te Evidence Act 2006. The report considers a range of issues with the Evidence Act, the legislation governing evidence in criminal and civil cases, and makes 27 recommendations for reform. These include reforms designed to improve the court process for victims of sexual and family violence, while at the same time ensuring defendants’ rights to a fair trial are preserved.
“Our consultation highlighted that the process of giving evidence can be particularly stressful for complainants in sexual and family violence cases,” said Hon Sir Douglas White. Our review has also shown there is a risk of jurors being affected by myths and misconceptions about sexual and family violence. We are therefore recommending a number of improvements to the rules of evidence in sexual and family violence cases.”
 
These recommendations include:
 
There should be tighter controls on admitting evidence of a complainant’s previous sexual experience with the defendant and evidence of a complainant’s sexual disposition.
 
Family violence complainants should be entitled to record their evidence (including evidence in-chief and cross-examination) in advance of the trial and have the video played at the hearing. The Commission has previously made similar recommendations in relation to sexual
violence complainants.
 
Judges should be required to intervene when questioning of a witness is unacceptable.
 
Judicial directions should be developed to address myths and misconceptions that jurors might hold in sexual and family violence cases.
 
These are significant changes that could help victims of sexual violence better navigate the judicial system. Take for example the myths that too many jurors might think are real, which the report suggests should be addressed.
• A complainant who dresses ‘provocatively’ or acts ‘flirtatiously’ is at least partially responsible for the offending.
• A complainant who drinks alcohol or takes drugs is at least partially responsible for the offending.
• “Real rape” is committed by strangers and/or sexual violence by a partner or acquaintance is less serious.
• It is not rape unless the offender uses force or the complainant suffers physical injuries.
• A family violence victim can avoid future violence by leaving the relationship.
 
Fore more information read the Law Commission Press Release or the full report.
 

Let us renew our commitment to stand up and speak out.

New Zealand has been shaken by the tragedy in Christchurch. Our hearts go out to the families, friends and colleagues of those who have been hurt and to the many White Ribbon Ambassadors who are connected to the Muslim Community in New Zealand. You can donate to the families here.

Hate has no place in our country and our Prime Minister has categorically stated, this is not us.

It is my strong belief that many in our country will focus their attention on ensuring that the views that helped to fuel the murders are rejected publicly, and often.

While White Ribbon focuses on a different kind of violence, namely men’s violence towards women, this horrific event should remind us that allowing the extreme views of a minority to go unchallenged creates the opportunity for violence.

Sometimes we conflate freedom of speech and hate speech. Sometimes we don’t call out those who signal their despicable views because they are written on a t-shirt, hidden within jokes, within the lyrics of a song, in the images of a music video, or are simply part of the patriarchy that has been accepted for generations.

Words and actions matter, but so too does inaction. Not speaking to our young men about Respectful Relationships or Respectful Sexual Relationships allows others to fill in the gaps. It enables porn to become an educator and young men like the Rape Busters crew to exist and flourish.

So in the wake of this tragedy let us renew our commitment to stand up and speak out. For more information on how you can do this check out these Eight Actions That Can Reduce Violence.

Rob McCann
White Ribbon Manager

Listening and believing women.

Reflecting on and changing your behaviour.

Disrupting other men’s violence towards women.

Treating women as equals.

Choose how to be a man and how you will act.

Talk to a young man about breaking out of the ‘Man Box’.

Think about what media you watch

Talk with young men about respectful relationships and pornography.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help us to take the next steps in your community by:

1. Nominating someone to become a White Ribbon Ambassador in your community. The form is here and it’s easy to nominate someone. Contact us to discuss if you have any questions. More information is here.

2. Getting a local business involved in violence prevention by undertaking White Ribbon Workplace Accreditation. More information here. Contact White Ribbon to discuss here.

3. Getting a Youth Ambassador Scheme up and running in your local schools. More info here or download the PDF. Contact us to discuss.

 

To read the full March Newsletter click here.

Harm Ends Futures Begin with David White

 

HARM ENDS, FUTURES BEGIN! Working for Safe Communities.

Keep an eye out for David White as he tours New Zealand advocating for safe communities and get along to his presentation if you can. You will not be disappointed by this lovely man and his powerful journey.

You can watch David’s message here.

Each one of us has a responsibility to ensure our community is a safe place. Support the kaupapa!

 

R Kelly’s announcement to tour NZ – White Ribbon comments

R. Kelly will tour Australia and NZ next year. Picture: AFP / Getty

The death and vigils for Grace Millane gave New Zealand an opportunity to do more than mourn for Grace and the 14 New Zealand women killed by men this year. We have a chance to put these feelings of horror to a practical use.

White Ribbon’s Manager is asking people to think about the media they are watching and using.

“White Ribbon is asking men who are not violent to get involved in violence prevention,” says Mr McCann. “To make getting involved easy, we have created eight actions which support Respectful Relationships (which is a prevention against violence) and that get people off the side-lines and active.”

“When people take the online White Ribbon Pledge to stand up, speak out and act against men’s violence towards women, they are asked to choose an action. In the case of R Kelly we would ask that people think about the media they use and that includes the music we listen to.

“Is it sending all the wrong signals? Does it treat women like objects? Is it sexist?

“We would ask people to consider what signal they want to send to their friends and colleagues and children. Do you want to listen to a man that has multiple accusations of harrowing sexual, mental and physical abuse brought against him?

“It’s a personal choice, but if it were me, I would not go. I would not want my sons to think that I believe the alleged behaviour of R Kelly is ok.

“The time for vigils is drawing to an end. Now it’s time for action.”

White Ribbon wants to make a difference by getting people actively involved in violence prevention by taking the online pledge at www.whiteribbon.org.nz and choosing one of eight actions.

 

  1. Listening and believing women.
  2. Reflecting on and changing their behaviour.
  3. Disrupting other men’s violence towards women.
  4. Treating women as equals.
  5. Choose how to be a man and how I will act.
  6. Talk to a young man about breaking out of the Man Box.
  7. Think about what they watch and the media they use.
  8. Talk with young men about respectful relationships and pornography.

 

These actions all support Respectful Relationships (which is a protection against violence) and get people actively involved in preventing men’s violence towards women.

Each action is linked to videos which may be copied or shared.

 

Notes from The Courier Mail

While Kelly was R&B royalty in the 1990s, in recent years he’s become embroiled in a series of sex scandals.

The singer dropped a 19-minute single titled I Admit in July to “set the record straight” on multiple allegations of sexual misconduct he has been facing for years.

In the song, Kelly admitted that he’d “made some mistakes” but said he did not abuse or sexually assault women. R. Kelly has been accused by multiple women of running a “sex cult,” brainwashing and sexually abusing women, including some teenagers.

He has repeatedly denied the claims.

In May, a woman named Faith Rodgers alleged the I Believe I Can Fly singer “mentally, sexually and verbally” abused her during a roughly year-long relationship, according to a civil claim.

She alleged Kelly sexually abused and demeaned her, locked her in rooms and vehicles for punishment and infected her with herpes.

A three-part docuseries about the singer, Surviving R. Kelly, will air on US television in January, just a month before Kelly’s Australian tour. The series will give voice to many of Kelly’s alleged victims, who are set to detail harrowing accusations of sexual, mental and physical abuse against him.

contact@whiteribbon.org.nz

 

 

Grace Millane

Our thoughts go out to the Millane family whose grief will be unimaginable. Their message to New Zealand is here.

So many New Zealanders have been horrified as this story has unfolded. This is a time to stand together, share that pain and show our compassion for Grace and her family. Thank you for honouring her contribution to the world and and saying time’s up on the violence, intimidation and the senseless waste of lives all around the world.

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While this story has touched all of us, the wider story often goes untold. As a country we need to wake up and recognise that as many as 14 women are killed in domestic violence each year. Many more pass through our hospitals with serious injuries. Police investigate over 118,000 family violence incidents every year. That amounts to 41% of a front line officer’s time.

White Ribbon believes attitudes have to change, and over the last few days Mark Longley, Richie Hardcore, Rob McCann and Anna Campbell have all spoken to a wide range of media saying the same thing: that something good must come out of this tragedy; that men’s attitudes towards women need to change; and that we all need to play a role in ending family violence.

Please take the White Ribbon Pledge to ‘stand up, speak out and act against men’s violence towards women’ at whiteribbon.org.nz and when you do, choose from one of eight actions that help to reduce men’s violence towards women.

That’s our challenge to you. If you haven’t taken The Pledge, do it now and encourage others to do the same. Let’s get people active now because there should not need to be another death to make us care.

Vigils Across New Zealand

There are a number of vigils planned for Grace. Please support them wherever you are. (Thanks to Newshub and NZ Herald for this information)
Queenstown, Tuesday 11th, 7pm, The Boatshed Cafe.
Auckland, Wednesday 12th, 6pm, St Patrick’s Cathedral Square
Auckland, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Federal Street.
Hamilton, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Location Memorial Park*
New Plymouth, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Puki Ariki Landing.
Wellington, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Civic Square.
Nelson, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, 1903 Square.
Christchurch, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Cathedral Square.
Dunedin, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Lower Octagon.
Memorial Cruise, Friday 14th, 10pm, Gather at Quay Street to cruise to Scenic Drive, Waitakere.
Auckland, Saturday 15th, 12pm, Auckland City.
Mount Manganui, Saturday 15th, 8pm Sunset vigil at Surf Club.
Blenheim, Wednesday 12th, 7pm, Taylor River Amphitheatre.
Rotorua, Wednesday Tutanekai and Hinemoa Sts,
Kapiti, Saturday 15th, 8:30pm, Paraparaumu Beach
Tauranga Friday 14th at the Waterfront on the Strand, 7pm

* Location to be confirmed

Anna Campbell on the AM Show

Mark Longley on The Project

Rob McCann on BBC World News

Mikaela aka Mouse performed an original song on the night re-writing the words to for Grace

Mikaela aka Mouse performed an original song on the night re-writing the words to for Grace.

I see a silhouette figure staring back at me
In the doorway or under the covers protecting me while I sleep
With the angel lights guiding me
I can finally tell her just what I mean

And I know that things have their time
But why’d you have to go before I finished mine

And I wish I could’ve said goodbye
I wish I could’ve told her, she’s always on my mind
This is my goodbye song
It’s what I’ve wanted to say all along
This is my goodbye song

There’s a million reasons why I could be missing you
From the way you look to all the little things you do
And I hope the world’s being good to you
That you’re looking down on me the way I’m looking up at you

And I know things happen for a reason
But is it too much to ask, for one more chance?

Just to say goodbye
Just to tell her, she’s always on my mind
This is my goodbye song
It’s what I’ve wanted to say all along
This is my goodbye song
And this is my goodbye song

Day will come and
Night will fall and
All the stars will align
Clouds will form and
Winter mornings
I’ll dream she’s right there by my side

Now’s my chance to say goodbye
Now’s my chance to tell her, she’s always on my mind
This is my goodbye song
It’s what I’ve wanted to say all along
This is my goodbye song

White Ribbon Day 25 Nov 2018

#StandupNZ

“White Ribbon is challenging non-violent men to stand up and take The Pledge,” says Rob McCann White Ribbon Manager. “Without the visible support of good men, we can’t hope to reduce men’s violence towards women.”

New Zealand has the highest rate of reported violence towards women in the developed world with 41% of front line Police Officers’ time spent on family harm. That’s over 118,000 family violence investigations in 2006, about one every five minutes!

“There are many reasons why men should help to end the violence,” says Mr McCann, “but the reality is that using violence in your life means everyone loses. White Ribbon promotes Respectful Relationships because it is a protection against violence and because it is good for men. Men are happier and have more meaningful lives when people love them, rather than fear them.”

Respectful relationships are based on:

  • Equality between men and women. Gender equity in personal relationships, and all social spheres, reduces violence against women.
  • Flexible gender behaviour for all. Having men break out of the Man Box and choosing their own masculine identity prevents their use of violence.
  • Non-violent communication. Men being emotionally aware and expressive gives them alternatives to aggression.
  • Enthusiastic consent for all sexual activities. Having willing participation is crucial to preventing sexual violence.

“This White Ribbon Day, as men we have an opportunity to make New Zealand a better place,” says Mr McCann. “Yes, ending men’s violence will help our mothers, our daughters and all the women in our lives, but it will also help men.”

“We need to live in a society where men are supported to be caring, express their emotions and give and receive love. The old stereotypes or the ‘man box’, where we’re told to harden up and don’t play like a girl, need to be rejected.”

When men take the online Pledge they will be asked to choose from one of eight actions which all support Respectful Relationships, and get men actively preventing men’s violence towards women. They will then receive information and a video about how to build that action into their lives.

“We can only achieve real change when good men stand up for what they believe,” says Mr McCann.

Take the Pledge at www.whiteribbon.org.nz

 

Launch of the 2018 Stand Up Campaign

On Monday we launched Stand Up – a campaign that asks men to do more than simply be non-violent. It asks us to be proactive and provides eight actions which men can take. Parliamentary Under-Secretary (Domestic and Sexual Violence issues) Jan Logie introduced the concept and our campaign video.

 

To view all the Stand Up videos click here

Shine a Light on Family Violence

Join Anika Moa and Daffodils at the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron to celebrate all the amazing work that our family violence advocates undertake across New Zealand. Vectra Lights will light up the Auckland Harbour Bridge at 8:30pm to Shine a Light on Domestic Violence. Join us at the venue or from a vantage point somewhere in Auckland, and we’ll post it on Facebook if you can’t be there.

To attend this free event just email contact@whiteribbon.org.nz

 

Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron
181 Westhaven Drive, Westhaven Marina
6:30pm to 9:00pm refreshments provided
Proudly brought to you by White Ribbon, Soroptimist International of Auckland Inc. and Vector Lights
(non alcoholic gig, acts will be semi acoustic)

Stand Up Wairarapa

Each community has a different way of promoting White Ribbon. This year in the Wairarapa they are doing things differently. Rather than concentrating on an event, they’re focusing on challenging men to take the Pledge and have organised local men to make a series of adverts that encourage this activity.

Here’s the communication that explains what the Wairarapa community are doing.

Sunday 25 November is White Ribbon and this year’s theme is STAND UP.

The Family Violence Network has been raising awareness about White Ribbon here in the Wairarapa for at least 10 years.  So many of you have showed your support by wearing the White Ribbon,  walked a mile with your feet squished into 4inch heels and competed in running relays dragging tractor tyres!  Your support to raise awareness in the Wairarapa has been tremendous.

Quite often when raising awareness about White Ribbon, responses from people are spoken as if it’s “those people, not us”.  It is us.  Preventing men’s violence towards women is the responsibility of all of us.  We’re horrified when we hear of the statistics, it’s time we moved beyond raising awareness, it’s time to take Action to have real social impact in the Wairarapa.

This year we’re doing things a little differently …

We’ve decided we’re not hosting an event this year.  Instead, we are asking the men of the Wairarapa to take The Pledge and share using their social media to activate their networks of friends, colleagues and acquaintances by challenging them to take The Pledge and Stand Up, Speak out, and Act to prevent men’s violence towards women using the hashtags #respectfulrelationships and #standupwairarapa.

            #RespectfulRelationships     #StandUpWairarapa         

White Ribbon are asking men to ‘stand up’ by taking the online pledge and committing to take one or more actions.

The eight actions offer men choices – to listen, reflect, alter their behaviour, talk to others and disrupt negative behaviour – which build respectful behaviour that undermines violence.

Once they’ve chosen an action, they will receive an email linking them with a White Ribbon toolbox and a video with useful information on how to proceed and achieve their goal.

From the 12th of November a range of New Zealand organisations will be using their communication channels to promote the online pledge and actions to their customers and staff.

And you can too.  If your organisation chooses to Stand Up for White Ribbon and Respectful Relationships, the Violence Free Network have resources available for you to use in your workplace.  Resources include posters, tee shirts for champions, tattoos and wrist bands.  Email Ang Turipa or Jeremy Logan or call 06 377 0933.

We need good people, particularly the men of the Wairarapa to show other men what Respectful Relationships look like and to show our next generation of beautiful boys that Respect is the behaviour we use instead of violence.  Good men of Wairarapa, we know you’re out there.

Stand Up Wairarapa.

Click on the year for a quick blast from the past of our community raising awareness for White Ribbon.

White Ribbon Awareness Campaigns
2006 – White Ribbon March
2007 – White Ribbon March
2008 – Whakamoe patu, (Lay Your Arms to Rest)
2009 – White Ribbon Race
2010 – White Ribbon Ride and March
2011 – White Ribbon Relay
2012 – White Ribbon Ride and Relay
2013 – Are you man enough campaign
2014 – White Ribbon Ride and Louise Nicholas Book Signing
2015 – White Ribbon Walk a Mile in her Shoes
2016 – White Ribbon Ride and Walk a Mile in her Shoes
2017 – Men in Black Evening