Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme

After months of planning, on Friday the 2nd of August our reinvigorated Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme launched in Wellington with 235 students from 30 secondary schools around the Lower North Island gathering at Wellington College for a full-day workshop.

These Year 12 and 13 students then returned to their schools as Youth Ambassadors. The workshop provided the Youth Ambassadors with an understanding of what domestic violence looks like in New Zealand and outlined the various forms of violence to ensure they realise it is not simply about physical abuse.

The importance of respectful relationships was highlighted and they learnt how to identify an unhealthy relationship.

Two presentations really stood out because they were lived experiences. Mark Longely spoke about his daughter Emily Longley’s death, and how that could have been prevented and the warning signs. Mele and Ete spoke about their marriage and the violence they both experienced (in Ete’s youth) and during their marriage. These presentations while confronting were inspirational, and each speaker throughout the day covered a range of key points that were carefully planned to provide a framework for students to then take action.

Students brainstorming at YALP Mayor Mike Tana addressing the students at YALP Eteuati Ete, formerly of the Laughing Samoans speaking

At the workshop they heard:

  • Mark Longleys retelling of his daughters death to encourage others to act

    the importance of this work and becoming a leader from Chief Ombudsman and Patron of White Ribbon Judge Peter Boshier

  • about what domestic violence is from the White Ribbon Campaign Manager Rob McCann
  • Local Mayors Justin Lester, Mike Tana and Ray Wallace talked about leadership
  • the tragic result when no-one intervenes to prevent violence from White Ribbon Ambassador Mark Longley
  • causes of violence such as socialisation, the man box and that change is possible and how it can be achieved and from Ambassadors Eteuati Ete and Mele Wendt
  • how best to respond to violence they witness from Police
  • how an initiative like the White Ribbon Ride can promote the kaupapa from White Ribbon Rider Rick Hepi
  • and how to make an event happen from Ambassador Ron Vink

Our aim is to empower these future leaders by giving them the tools to promote change. They have lots of fantastic ideas that they want to make a reality. Each school is being assigned an adult from the White Ribbon team to support them as they spread the kaupapa within their schools and communities.

Please write to us at contact@whiteribbon.org.nz if you are interested in bringing YALP to your school or community.

White Ribbon Ambassador Mele Wendt sharing her story with students White Ribbon Riders Rick Hepi, Mark Shepherd and Eric Campbell White Ribbon Patron Judge Boshier spoke about his experiences

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Q & A with White Ribbon Ambassador David Cournane

Today we would like to introduce one of our White Ribbon Ambassadors, David Cournane. David is the HoD of Physical Education and Health at Wellington College. David has been the driver in introducing the White Ribbon Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme (YALP) into the Wellington region this year and is the local co-ordinator for the Programme. We are extremely grateful for the time and effort he has put into this important initiative. As he is an educator working with young men we wanted to ask him a few questions about why he chose to become involved, what he sees as the challenges for young people and how we can assist them to overcome them and make real change in New Zealand attitudes to violence in the future.

Can you tell me a little about your background?

I grew up in the deep south in a little place called Te Anau in a loving family environment.  I studied in Dunedin where I was first exposed to some degree of toxic relationships between men and women. I qualified as a teacher in 2001 and have been working in boys’ education since 2003 at St Pats Silverstream and Wellington College.  My wife is the Black Ferns manager, and I have two young sons (9 and 6).

When did you first learn about White Ribbon?

I have known of White Ribbon for a number of years, but became more entrenched in the philosophy of the organisation after attending a White Ribbon event in Petone at the end of 2017 where Michael Kauffman, one of the Canadian founders of White Ribbon, gave a workshop and facilitated discussion.

Why did you decide to become an Ambassador?

In my role as an educator of young men, both as a middle leader and school wide leader in boys’ schools, I recognised the potential power I have to positively influence the values and actions of graduates of my school.  We have some amazing kids in our schools, but we also have a lingering tolerance for unacceptable attitudes towards women, and if I can in anyway positively influence this situation then I feel obliged to do so.

How do you find students respond to the White Ribbon kaupapa?

When the time is taken to take them through the White Ribbon material, and engage them with the kaupapa, students respond very positively.  They know and understand the key learnings around what makes a relationship healthy- for many they are just in a position where other influences in their lives (parental attitudes, media, peer group, etc) directly contradict the messages we are trying to give.

Why did you decide to take on leadership of the Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme (YALP) in Wellington?

I was looking for opportunities to impact upon the attitudes and beliefs of as many young people as possible.  Because of the timing of the White Ribbon campaign in November, when senior students have left, and the traditional insular practices of schools, my capacity to influence within my own school was relatively limited.  The YALP allows for as many schools as possible to develop their student leaders with the capabilities required to make a difference within their own schools across the wider region, at a time when all cohorts are still at school.  I absolutely believe that all schools want the best for their students in terms of holistic education, and all schools want to collaborate with others to achieve this.  The birth of this programme gives them that opportunity.

What challenges do you think young men are facing now that didn’t exist in your day? And how do you think we should react to these?

As alluded to above, young people are faced with much more information, opinions and diverse values than any generation before them.  I attended a conference on youth well-being a couple of years ago that talked about young people receiving the amount of ‘information/ideas’ we received in a year, in a week.  This bombardment of new ideas makes it incredibly difficult to filter out the valuable from the dangerous.  Related to this is the online accessibility of not only hardcore pornography, but also other warped views and values towards relationships accessed through dating apps, reality tv, etc.

Students sharing their ideas at the YALP

To respond to this, we need to be developing critical minds – young people capable of more effectively sifting through this bombardment of information, and engaging only with that which builds themselves and others around them up.

What are the things that make you worried?

The difficulty of trying to shape hearts and minds, when the more powerful influences of previous generations in their family, and the media they engage with, can be working at complete cross purposes.  I also worry that quality young men become labelled as something they are not.

Finally, I worry that aspects of our society seem more reluctant than ever to stand up and say something when negative things are happening (the bystander effect).

What are the things that make you hopeful?

Momentum for change is a wonderful thing, and when we get people in positions of power who have the skills to generate this momentum then great things can happen as we can see nationally with Prime Minister Jacinda Adern, and within our school community in the leadership of Principal Gregor Fountain.

I interact with some wonderful young people on a daily basis, and if they can find the strength to influence the worlds they exist within beyond school then the impact will be great.

Ambassadors, like David, are vital to spreading the White Ribbon kaupapa and getting projects like the Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme and Business Accreditation into local communities around New Zealand. If you would like to become an Ambassador or would like to nominate someone else to take on this valuable role please complete the nomination form here or write to us at contact@whiteribbon.org.nz

To check out the Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme (YALP) click here

New Zealander of the Year nominee – David White

White Ribbon Ambassador David White has recently been announced as a nominee for the 2020 New Zealander of the Year Awards. We couldn’t be more thrilled that David’s tireless work to prevent violence is being celebrated. He is a thoroughly deserving candidate for this prestigious award.

Eleven years ago David’s daughter Helen Meads was shot dead by her millionaire racehorse breeder husband Greg Meads. To ensure tragic stories like his daughter’s aren’t repeated David has spent the last seven years sharing his experience with people all over New Zealand. His commitment to changing New Zealand society for the better in the face of immense personal loss is inspiring. This year David embarked on his Harm Ends Futures Begin tour visiting each of the 71 electorates, making 120 presentations from February until the end of May.

David White on Good Morning in 2014

His work has helped to bring domestic violence out of the shadows where it has thrived for far too long. Recently David has stepped back from some of his work on  government committees and working groups in an attempt at retirement but he is still committed to changing the culture around men’s violence towards women and he continues to work with Police and Corrections to that end.

We are extremely grateful for David’s advocacy for White Ribbon and his powerful delivery of the kaupapa wherever he goes. He has travelled New Zealand on the White Ribbon Ride connecting with people in small communities and sharing his story. We regularly get requests for him to speak at community events and he always makes it a priority. In addition to all the time he has put into connecting with individuals and advising on committees David has also written two books Helen: the Helen Meads tragedy in 2012 and Family Violence: Lifting New Zealand’s Dark Cloud in 2016.

Since their inception in 2010 these awards have celebrated some remarkable New Zealanders. The 2019 New Zealander of the year Mike King has used the platform to focus national attention on the impact of mental health issues, particularly among Maori and young people. We think David would be the perfect successor to Mike King as he has demonstrated the same passion to foster vital change in our society and eliminate men’s violence towards women.

 

White Ribbon selected as Charity Partner for the 2019 HighLight: Carnival of Lights

We are so grateful to have been chosen as the charity partner for this year’s HighLight: Carnival of Lights. Brought to you by Hutt City Council, the carnival is held during Labour weekend each year (25 – 28 October 2019).

Lower Hutt’s Riddiford Garden will be transformed into a spectacular carnival of light for all ages. Get lost across space and time, through magical forests and maybe even fall in love. The carnival features live entertainment, brilliant light installations, fireworks, interactive activities and more, all free.

Hutt City Council and White Ribbon are currently calling for volunteers to support this important community event. Volunteers provide information and maps to visitors, oversee installations and activities, assist performers, and collect donations. Past volunteers have had a fantastic time helping at HighLight. As a thank you for giving up your time to assist there are some great prizes up for grabs. Each night there will be volunteer spot prizes drawn including movie tickets, Everyone’s Adventures vouchers, food, beverage, accommodation prizes and more.

To register to volunteer during highlight please follow this link and please write White Ribbon in the comment section.

School Visits from White Ribbon Riders

Since 2009 the White Ribbon Ride has visited communities throughout New Zealand to spread the message that violence against women is unacceptable. The riders look tough and their motorbikes draw in a crowd, but it is their message that has the greatest impact. The Ride traditionally takes place in November to coincide with White Ribbon Day and associated events. The one downside to that timing is that senior students have usually already left school at that time, and as a result miss the opportunity to hear from the Riders. In response to this issue the Hauraki Ride is looking at moving their Ride to March 2020 to trial and see if alternating the time of the rides is effective in engaging more youth.

Another way to facilitate Riders connecting with senior students is the opportunity to have a group of Riders visit your school during the year to present on these issues. We have a number of enthusiastic Riders who are keen to connect with local schools during the year and develop a more meaningful and long-lasting relationship with the students and school. The fact that some of the Riders have experience as victims and former perpetrators of domestic violence gives them and their message more credibility with students.

In October last year experienced White Ribbon Rider Rick Hepi organized a visit to an alternative education provider Te Ata Kura, which is managed by Neville Heihei. The group of five Riders who attended did some ice-breakers and games to build rapport with the students, then broke into groups to work as teams to engage in problem-solving. They finished with a push up competition between Riders, teachers, and students. The Riders were at the Kura for 2-3 hours and really enjoyed the opportunity to spend more time getting to know the students. Both the Riders and the school are very keen to repeat the experience.

In a letter about the visit Neville Heihei commented: “The White Ribbon riders visit to the school was a great success for our students. They were able to openly disclose personal information about their upbringing regarding violence and what they have learnt from that. The opportunity for students to be able to articulate their feelings and emotions in a safe space with the riders, class mates and staff was amazing. It seemed that everyone came away with a learning for the day. This speaks of the power of the White Ribbon kaupapa.”

We have also recently developed a powerpoint presentation that Riders will be able to give in schools if you would prefer a more formal presentation to a large group rather than the interactive engagement that was possible with the relatively small number of students at Te Ata Kura. There are plenty of options available and we are keen to work with you to create a meaningful opportunity for students to engage with the Riders, who are all volunteers and relate extremely well to young people. Their honesty about their own experiences creates a real connection with the people they encounter.

If you think a visit from some of our Riders would be of value to your students please contact us at contact@whiteribbon.org.nz and we will help connect you to Riders in your region.

If you are keen to join the 2019 Ride in the South Island or Lower North Island please download your registration of interest form here.

 

Welcome for new White Ribbon Ambassador – Mayor Justin Lester

Chief Ombudsman and Patron of White Ribbon Judge Peter Boshier presenting Mayor Lester with his White Ribbon.

White Ribbon is delighted to welcome Wellington Mayor Justin Lester to the White Ribbon team. He is passionate about the White Ribbon kaupapa and supporting change in our communities.

The event to welcome Mayor Lester was organised by fellow Ambassador Inspector Rakesh Naidoo of the Police and hosted at Police National Headquarters in Wellington by Police Commissioner (and White Ribbon Ambassador) Mike Bush. Mayor Lester was nominated by the National Council of Women.

Members of the National Council of Women and Multicultural New Zealand who nominated Mayor Lester with the Mayor and Judge Boshier

The event also celebrated the Phoenix Diversity and Inclusion Programme, which provides season passes and bus transportation for migrants, refugees and low income families to attend Phoenix games free of charge. In addition to being White Ribbon Ambassadors, the Mayors in the wider Wellington region are also vital supporters of this fantastic initiative, which highlights the important role sport can play in creating social cohesion.

Honoured guests at the Welcome

 

The fact that all four Mayors in the Wellington region (Mayors Justin Lester,  Mike Tana, Ray Wallace and Wayne Guppy) have become White Ribbon Ambassadors has provided significant support for key projects like the Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme to be rolled out in the region. The Mayors recently presented at the Youth Ambassador workshop on leadership empowering the next generation of leaders. We are extremely grateful for their support and willingness to use their platform to speak out against violence.

White Ribbon Campaign Manager Rob McCann with Mayors Justin Lester and Mike Tana on either side

If you would like to nominate someone to help spread the kaupapa as a White Ribbon Ambassador please download the nomination form here.

 

Spoken Word Competition

White Ribbon are holding their first spoken word competition and it’s going to be a night of hot poetry, sizzling truths and fiery performances.

The theme of the night is ‘Respectful Relationships’ so get ready for some amazing rhymes and inspired takes on ending (men’s) violence in New Zealand.

The Spoken Word competition is being held on the evening of the 26th September at Wellington College, with some high profile judges including the Justice – Parliamentary Under-Secretary Jan Logie and some decent prizes (to be announced soon).

 

Rules:

  • Poems must be the original work of the performer/s. Plagiarised material will result in disqualification.
  • Performers must be students at a NZ secondary school (or equivalent) and 15 years or older
  • Poets can perform by themselves or with a team.
  • No accompaniment by sound, props, or costume is allowed.
  • Each poem should be between 1-4 minutes (max of 5 minutes). Points will be deducted from the final score for exceeding the time limit — one point for going over time and an extra point every 30 seconds beyond that. For example: At 5:01 minutes you will lose a point. At 5:31 minutes you will lose another point.
  • No musical accompaniment. No props. No costumes. Personal poem transcripts permitted.
  • Judges hold up score cards using a 1-10 scale, with 10 being the highest.
  • Scores will be based on: performance, writing ability, uniqueness, and crowd reaction.
  • All performances must be inspired by the theme of ‘Respectful Relationships
  • All entrants must supply their script.
  • White Ribbon reserves the right to take photos and videos of the performers at the event and utilise the video/photos/script to promote Respectful Relationships.

 

Entry:

You will need to provide your email address, school, name and stage name if applicable, and upload your poem. You may also upload a video of you performing the poem if you wish. You’ll also need to provide a photo for the programme and a brief bio for our MC so our MC can introduce you. Entry Forms will be available here from 12 August 2019.

 

On the Night:

Information about the evening will be sent to all performers. There will be an opportunity for a brief sound check and we will send information to you about how the evening will run.

 

Prizes:

We hope to announce the prizes in the next few weeks. The bare minimum is $500 for first place and $200 for the runner up and $100 for third place. Your work could also feature in the November White Ribbon Campaign.

 

History of Slam Poetry

One of the most vital and energetic movements in poetry during the 1990s, slam has revitalized interest in poetry in performance. Poetry began as part of an oral tradition, and the Beat and Negritude poets were devoted to the spoken and performed aspects of their poems. This interest was reborn through the rise of poetry slams across America; while many poets in academia found fault with the movement, slam was well received among young poets and poets of diverse backgrounds as a democratizing force. This generation of spoken word poetry is often highly politicized, drawing upon racial, economic, and gender injustices as well as current events for subject manner.

A slam itself is simply a poetry competition in which poets perform original work alone or in teams before an audience, which serves as judge. The work is judged as much on the manner and enthusiasm of its performance as its content or style, and many slam poems are not intended to be read silently from the page. The structure of the traditional slam was started by construction worker and poet Marc Smith in 1986 at a reading series in a Chicago jazz club. The competition quickly spread across the country, finding a notable home in New York City at the Nuyorican Poets Café.

taken from https://poets.org/text/brief-guide-slam-poetry

 

White Ribbon’s Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme

The spoken word competition is part of White Ribbon’s Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme. You can find out more about this programme here and look at the resources for Youth Ambassadors here. White Ribbon NZ promotes respectful relationships to prevent men’s violence against women. An effective feature of White Ribbon’s strategy is to have Ambassadors, who are respected and influential role models, promoting White Ribbon messages to their network and community.

Ambassadors play a vital role in building support, visibility and promoting White Ribbon’s messages to new groups. They can keep the White Ribbon messages alive beyond the November campaign. Increasingly White Ribbon is targeting young men to promote respectful behaviour in their relationships with women.

 

The Death Podcast

Mark Longley speaks at a Parliamentary breakfast

Mark Longley is an Ambassador for White Ribbon, an organisation that began in response to the murder of 14 women in Canada and has now spread to 60 countries around the globe. Its aim is to speak to men, about men’s violence towards women and demonstrate the alternatives to violence – respectful relationships.

It’s a role Mark would never have taken on had it not been for the death of his daughter Emily Longley at the hands of a violent young man in the UK.

“As a parent that has lost a child, you are always trying to make sense of the tragedy. I donate my time to White Ribbon in the hope that no other family ever has to go through what we have endured. We talk about men taking responsibility to change the behaviour of our mates. In my daughter’s story, if just one of her boyfriend’s mates had not remained silent, Emily could be alive today. That’s a theme I return to, in the hope that I can influence other young men out there.”

Mark and Emily Longley

“But what I also noticed, is that we don’t talk about death. No one prepares us and the routines we have in place just don’t cut it.  We don’t know what to say or do when people experience the impacts of a death and I wanted to explore that.”

Mark and the Newshub team have put together a three part podcast which is about love, grief and hope.

“I have spoken to people who have experienced grief, from losing a father to suicide to a grandmother 20 years ago whose loss is still keenly felt. I spoke to experts and colleagues and looked at both the process of grieving and helping those we know are mourning. And here is the thing: death, for all its inevitability, sucks. It doesn’t matter if it is your daughter, your grandmother, your spouse or a relative, it sucks and yet it remains taboo in many societies, and I wanted to challenge that.”

The podcast is called Death and is in three chapters.

Emily Longley

  • Chapter 1. Death
  • Chapter 2. Grief
  • Chapter 3. Hope

“I know I’m on a journey and it’s taken me out of my comfort zone, but I do it to honour Emily, and play my part to reduce the level of violence in New Zealand. In December last year I spoke at two vigils for Grace Millane – the British backpacker who was murdered in New Zealand. It’s not something I would have done if my daughter were alive, but I know that work and this podcast are something Emily would be proud of.

“Death is going to come to us all, so this is a podcast for everyone, whether you are experiencing grief or know someone who is. We talk about death and loss, but also love and hope. I loved Emily and when she died, I almost died too. But I found a way through and I hope this podcast will help anyone else who is grieving find their way through it.”

Mark would like to thank everyone who took part as it takes courage to recount your own personal experiences and share them with the world.

Click to listen to the Death podcast on:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Links:

Newshub’s homepage for the show
Profile in The Guardian
Interview on Australia’s ABC network
BBC article

 

White Ribbon would like to acknowledge Newshub Reporting for support with this story.

Workforce Inclusion and Diversity conference

The 2nd Annual Workforce Inclusion and Diversity conference (Auckland, 28 – 30 August 2019) will feature over 30 diverse speakers, over 20 solution-focused case studies, and a number of interactive panels, roundtable sessions and inspirational keynotes to help you to implement best practice D&I strategies at your organisation.

Hear from:

  • Tamati Coffey, MP for Waiariki 
  • Anne Fitisemanu, Chief Executive Officer, Tupu Toa
  • Ailsa Claire, OBE Chief Executive Officer, Auckland District Health Board
  • Heather Shotter, Chief Executive officer, Palmerston North City Council
  • Chris Quin, Chief Executive Officer, Foodstuffs New Zealand
  • David Walsh, Chief Executive Officer, New Zealand Post 
  • Rachel Froggatt, Chief Executive Officer, Women in Sport Aotearoa
  • Glen Cornelius, Managing Director, Harrison Grierson

PLUS, our very own Anna Campbell, White Ribbon Board Member and Ambassador, on supporting employees in the workplace dealing with domestic violence.

And many others…

 Key themes to be covered:

  • Aligning D&I with business goals
  • Leadership development Maori and Pacific Islanders
  • Achieving gender equity, equality and balance
  • Intersectionality
  • Neurodiversity
  • LGBTQIA+ inclusive initiatives
  • Addressing unconscious bias, myths, assumptions
  • Improving mental wellbeing
  • Promoting religious diversity
  • Leading a multigenerational workforce
  • Inclusive workplace for staff with disabilities
  • Enablers for successful flexibility and work-life balance

For more information download the brochure or visit wdni-nz.aventedge.com.

To register, click here and apply VIP discount code ‘WR10’ to save 10% off your ticket!

Have questions? Email info@aventedge.com or call 02 91888 8950

 

White Ribbon Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme (YALP) Wellington

White Ribbon is teaming up with Wellington College to get our Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme underway in the wider Wellington Region. The White Ribbon Youth Ambassador Leadership Programme supports high school students to promote respectful behaviour.

We are holding a day long workshop on 02 August with Ambassadors such as Mark Longley, Eteuati Ete from the Laughing Samoans, White Ribbon Riders, NZ Police, local support services and all four local Mayors.

The workshop educates and activates young people, providing them with the knowledge and skills to lead and create action within their schools and wider communities and links them to White Ribbon Ambassadors who can mentor them.

Students then go back into their school communities as Youth Ambassadors  who are able to spread the kaupapa within their peer groups

Draft Programme

TIME SESSION DESCRIPTION
09:45am Welcome Welcome, overview and house rules

Gregor Fountain, Wellington College Principal

10:00am Overview of Family Violence in NZ An overview of the issue facing New Zealand including what family violence/harm actually is and who it affects and some of the responses to end violence.

Rob McCann, White Ribbon Manager

10:45am Emily Longley’s Story Emily Longley was murdered by her boyfriend and that could have been prevented.

Mark Longley, White Ribbon Ambassador and Board Member

11:00am Leadership What leadership looks like and how to get people on board to support an idea.

Mayors Ray Wallace, Wayne Guppy, Justin Lester, Mike Tana

11:50am Recap of morning activities David Cournane to lead the recap

 

noon Lunch  

 

12:30pm Violence in our homes and communities The effects of violence in homes and how change is possible.

Eteuati Ete (member of the Laughing Samoans) and Mele Wendt, White Ribbon Ambassadors

 

1:15pm

 

Police and Community response How the Police and Community Agencies respond to violence occurring and how they hope to prevent violence.
1:45pm White Ribbon Riders The White Ribbon Ride, plus opportunity for photos with bikes

Rick Hepi, White Ribbon Rider TBC

2:00pm How to create change Workshops on how to create change in your communities eg at school or in clubs

Led by Ron Vink, White Ribbon Ambassador

Students split into groups, each with a facilitator

Mark Longley, Rob McCann, Eteuati Ete, Mele Wendt, White Ribbon Rider, David Cournane, additional Ambassadors

2:40pm Wrap-up Summary of day’s learnings and the next steps

Mark Longley and Rob McCann

 

3:00pm Students depart  

 

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White Ribbon would like to acknowledge the Millane Family who have decided to donate proceeds from the sale of a bracelet made by and LL Loves which celebrates the life of their daughter Grace Millane who was murdered in New Zealand while backpacking.

  • To find out more about how the Youth Ambassador Leadership programme works click here.
  • To contact White Ribbon to discuss the YALP click here.