Matariki 2013 – Mangere Mountain

Ambassador David White

David White
White Ribbon Ambassador

There is an old Maori saying that it is a good sign when it rains on a funeral. The Matariki event on Mangere Mountain was held under a constant, cold deluge. I thought back to my daughter Helen’s funeral that was held through a thunder storm. None of us at this event could not but be reminded of why we were there, all of us mindful of those who had died as victims of family violence.

 

That foul weather made us all uncomfortable and wanting shelter, but not as desperately as those victims of abuse with nowhere to hide. A little discomfort for us but a disturbing reminder that we have much to do to put an end to the rampant havoc some too many are inflicting within their families.

 

What we said that morning struck a chord in some and it was well worth getting cold and wet for. Personally, there were four people that I know of that found the courage to ask for help. It’s impossible to say what harm we may have prevented, but from my experience family violence creates devastation and ruins lives. What we do under the White Ribbon banner works and we mustn’t let the impetus subside. We need to continue to speak out at every opportunity – I hope you’ll join me.

David White

White Ribbon Ambassador

 

 

Raewyn Bhana SAFVPN Manager

Raewyn Bhana – JP
SAFVPN Manager and Matariki Committee Chair

The realization that violence is in every culture, socio-economic cohort and impacts on everyone is a message that we must share with our communities. It’s a simple concept, domestic violence is an issue for all New Zealanders and one that requires action.

 

The Matariki committee that organises this event is made up of Police, Child Youth and Family, Women’s Refuge , Mana Whenua and local not for profit agencies and tertiary providers students. We meet over five months to ensure that we provide a moving and inspirational event to commemorate and acknowledge loved ones that have passed away through domestic violence and child abuse.

 

The candle light vigil brings community, professionals and schools together to acknowledge and look at ways that we can work together to raise awareness and educate our communities about where they can get help.

 

The kaupapa is a taumaha (heavy) and as a committee, we want to ensure the message goes out that there is support for our families from the various agencies present at the event.

 

A repeat offender of domestic violence who is a gang member said ’Our mana whenua are here, I want to get help for my anger. I can’t believe the support we can get. This kaupapa is so touching that it hits home when you see the numbers that have passed away’.

 

We’re already planning for the next Matariki Event and hope we see you in June next year. Lastly the whole committee would like to thank all those who gave their time to put together this event and all the participants who spoke so passionately.

 

Raewyn Bhana – JP

SAFVPN Manager and Matariki Committee Chair

 

Tau Huirama - CEO Strategic Relations Jigsaw_Layer 1

Tau Huirama
White Ribbon Ambassador

Matariki is a time to; Reclaim our best experiences and stories from the past year. Use them to reclaim our present place in society where our whanau are safe.

And to reclaim the future where our wahine are flourishing and our tamaariki are thriving, where our dads are nurturers.

Tau Huirama

White Ribbon Ambassador

 

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Kaeo takes action

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Congratulations to the town of Kaeo who continue to take action to show they will not accept violence. On 22 June the town held a White Ribbon event to draw attention to violence against women, and invited the White Ribbon Riders to take part and speak at the event. Riders came from across the North Island to stand with the residents of Kaeo and spoke at the event

To read more about the organisations of the event click here.

White Ribbon’s First International Conference

White Ribbon Conference

The international contingent on-board HMAS Choules at Garden Island, Potts Point, Sydney. (left to right, Rosemary Calder, Rob McCann, Omar Aftab, Rear Admiral Timothy Barrett AM CSC, Michael Kaufman, Libby Davies, Alan O’Neill, John Rosewarne).

The Australian Conference’s key message was how we may all be agents for change to prevent men’s violence against women. Speakers from around the world, including the cofounder of the White Ribbon movement Dr Michael Kaufman, spoke on national and international research and programmes that work to change men’s attitudes and behaviours that continue violence.

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Dr Michael Kaufman

In tackling insidious violence, the international movement challenges us all to make a difference, even as by-standers, in our work as agents of change. We all have roles to play, whether that is in the workplace, the sporting field, or other spheres of influence.

Dr Jackson Katz

Dr Jackson Katz

A further highlight was Preventing men’s violence as a political priority Dr Jackson Katz from the USA. This presentation helped to demonstrate how men get taken out of the violence equation and what we can do to make this a men’s issue. To watch Dr Katz in action watch this TED recording.

If you want to read more about the event or are interested in reading summaries of keynote speaker’s presentations, click here.

Photos courtesy of White Ribbon Australia

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The Conference was organised and hosted by White Ribbon Australia

Michael Laws on Nigella Lawson

Michael Laws is right in that too many New Zealand men still remain silent when our mates or male relatives disparage women or boast about “giving her a clip”.

DR Russell Wills

Dr Russell Wills, Children’s Commissioner, White Ribbon Ambassador

White Ribbon ambassadors take on the role because men need to take responsibility for men’s violence towards women. Wearing the ribbon tells our communities we have pledged to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women.

Real men don’t stay silent. We speak up. We intervene. We do this because we know that for our society to become less violent towards women and children the change starts with us.

Leaving a violent man is not simple. The risk of being killed is highest immediately after leaving. Poverty is inescapable for many women who leave. Violent men threaten loss of contact with children, or harm to them. If we all understood these simple truths, maybe more women would leave, and they and their children would be safer.

New Zealand can and must be a safer, less violent place. That change must start with us.

Dr Russell Wills
Children’s Commissioner
White Ribbon Ambassador
 
 
Laws Nigella

Statement from the Chair of the White Ribbon Committee

Peter Boshier - Chief Family Court Judge copy

Peter Boshier – Chair of the White Ribbon Committee

White Ribbon asks men to never commit condone or remain silent about men’s violence towards women.

As part of the campaign men are nominated as White Ribbon Ambassadors to help influence other men by changing attitudes and behaviour.

These nominees must also sign a statement that they are living violence-free lives, disclose any previous convictions for violent or abusive behaviour, and declare that nothing in their past or current personal life would damage the credibility of the campaign.

Following the very public scrutiny over Sir Owen Glenn’s nomination, and the omission of certain facts that should have been presented to the White Ribbon Committee, I have received a letter from Sir Owen Glenn advising that he has withdrawn his nomination as a White Ribbon Ambassador.

sir owen glenn

Sir Owen Glenn

Sir Owen maintains that his declaration on the application form is true and correct. In his letter he explains that the media coverage is “…nothing but a distraction from the important work both White Ribbon and the Glenn Inquiry are doing in relation to child abuse and domestic violence in New Zealand.”

Sir Owen goes on to say, “consequently I would ask that my application be withdrawn as a White Ribbon Ambassador”.

On behalf of the White Ribbon Committee, I have accepted Sir Owen’s decision, and appreciate that he has put the reputation and work of the White Ribbon Campaign at the forefront of his decision.

Sir Owen stands by his statement that he is living violence-free, and that he has no history of violence towards women or children. Unless there is evidence to the contrary, we must take Sir Owen at his word.

Men’s violence against women is at epidemic levels in our country. This is simply nothing to be proud about, and the White Ribbon Campaign will continue to ask men to stand up and influence other men.

Peter Boshier

White Ribbon Committee Chair

Previous statements about appointing White Ribbon Ambassadors

For media please contact
Rob McCann
White Ribbon Campaign Manager 

Appointing White Ribbon Ambassadors

Peter Boshier - Chief Family Court Judge copy

Judge Peter Boshier
White Ribbon Committee Chair

In light of the allegations against Sir Owen Glenn and his potential role as a White Ribbon Ambassador in the White Ribbon Campaign, it is in the best interests of the community to know what steps are taken when appointing ambassadors.

Ambassadors embody the principles of the campaign. They are chosen by the White Ribbon Committee for their willingness to challenge the behaviour of abusive men, and to convey key messages directly to their own communities.

To ensure the integrity of the campaign, a strict nomination process takes place which includes interviews, a New Zealand Police Check and a wider community check. Nomination forms can be downloaded here.

sir owen glenn

Sir Owen Glenn

Nominees must also sign a statement that they are living violence-free lives, and will uphold the White Ribbon pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women. All men are asked to disclose any previous convictions for violent or abusive behaviour.

Sir Owen’s representatives have informed me in my role as chair of the White Ribbon Committee, that Sir Owen did not include this new information in his nomination as a White Ribbon Ambassador because Sir Owen stands by his declarations that he was and is violence free.

The White Ribbon Committee will consider this information, as we would all other ambassadors.

White Ribbon is an international campaign to end men’s violence towards women. We will continue to support the White Ribbon Ambassador project utilising men to speak and influence other men.

We will continue to embrace men who have always been violence free, and those men who have rejected the use of violence knowing that they have a vital role to play in effecting change.

Judge Peter Boshier

White Ribbon Committee Chair

click here for the Sunday Star Times Article

Statement from Sir Owen Glenn

The Glenn Inquiry

click here for the Glenn Inquiry

“It saddens me that yet again it appears the New Zealand media is delving into my personal life to fill their pages while New Zealand is ranked the third highest country in the world for rape and this issue goes virtually unreported. Within the past 12 months I have signed two declarations, which I stand by, that state that I am living violence-free and that I have no history of violence towards women or children. These declarations are accurate in all respects. There was no truth to the allegation from almost 11 years ago. My regret now is that I didn’t take the matter to court, however after two years of dispute in the American court system and at the strong advice of my American lawyer I resolved the case in Hawaii to avoid further horrendous court costs and to bring the matter to an end on an agreed basis which resulted in an order of dismissal in October 2004. My motivation behind the Glenn Inquiry is our appalling statistics particularly that we have the fifth worst child abuse rates in the OECD. What a shame media don’t put this time and energy into encouraging the public to adopt zero tolerance towards this behaviour in our country.”

Lets write the next chapter not turn the page

NigellaThere has been a great deal of excellent public commentary following Charles Saatchi’s violence against Nigella – Michael Laws perhaps misses the point in his weekly column. Where we hopefully  agree is that leaving is the victims choice, however, women need to be supported whether they stay or go. It is not a case of turning the page and moving on as Michael suggests. That is a continuation of the status quo, that violence is a private matter.

MLaws

Michael Laws – Sunday Star Times

I disagree. Women do not ask for this violence, and are guilty of nothing that makes violence acceptable . We should also remember before passing judgement on women who stay, that leaving is a complicated decision which can involve any number of variables such as children, a place to live, shared friends, money, transportation and even social standing. The list is long and can include love for ones partner and the hope he will change.

Rather than turn the page and ignore the issue we need to acknowledge that this violence is not, and should never once again be considered a private matter. When the Police are called, no longer do they drive away with the professional opinion, it’s just a domestic and let’s leave it to the family to sort out.  Those dark days are over and our justice system now takes domestic violence seriously, but as member of the public, do we? That next page Mr Laws suggests we should turn over could be a hospital visit or even an obituary list.

Mark Longley

Mark Longley, White Ribbon Ambassador

As men we need to take responsibility for men’s violence. We need to talk to our friends and use our ability to influence and change men’s perceptions before another daughter, mother, wife or child is hurt or killed.

That’s why I won’t turn the page.  I will not change the conversation. As a parent, I’ve already buried a daughter and I don’t want any other parent to go through that.  I will use all my strength (such as it is) to help men understand that we can, and we will change our attitudes to violence against women. Violence is not acceptable, and I and the rest of the White Ribbon community will continue to speak out and speak to, men. I hope you’ll join us in writing the next page.

Mark Longley
White Ribbon Ambassador
 

Suggested media reading:

Winter Solstice White Ribbon New Zealand Art Auction: Ocean Fairytale

Why do I want to end violence towards women?

Dila Tawn Pretty Fish by Junel Santos and Tennille Salerno

Dila Tawn

I believe that it can be very easy to live and act from fear and anger. I also believe that each and every person is worthy of being treated with love and respect.

I want to share that there is another way, a way that may feel strange, difficult and unfamiliar to many of us but will lead to feeling freedom, love, joy and peace.

I want to support all the brave men who have the courage to step up and take responsibility for their own emotions and actions, respect themselves and in turn honour the women around them.

I want to encourage and remind women that all the love, beauty and strength they seek is already inside them. When you learn to love and honour yourself, you will inspire people around you to treat you well too.

We treat people the way we treat ourselves. When there is only fear, anger and frustration in us, we hurt the ones we love and we hurt ourselves.

When we do not know how to love, forgive and encourage ourselves, people around us will not know how to respect us.

Love is in all of us. No matter what we have done, each breath is a new one. Every second is a fresh chance: full of the choice we can make to stop, breathe, think, understand, be kind to ourselves, be grateful for our loved ones (even if they are sometimes hard to love), and the beauty that is around us. Feel love and feel loved and let it come from inside us and let it overflow onto the people around us.

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”  – Victor Hugo (Les Misérables)

Winter Solstice White Ribbon New Zealand Art Auction: Ocean Fairytale

by Dila Tawn Pretty Fish

Ocean Fairytale

Ocean Fairytale

I am so proud to call New Zealand my new home. I have moved countries in search of the ocean. Finding surfing has helped me find art again. It inspired me to make surfboards beautiful, join a 100-days project (http://100daysproject.co.nz/project/2013/390) to improve my painting, and use my work to contribute to causes I believe in. (I could try to sing and get you to pay me to stop)

I believe in White Ribbon because I believe that violence and making someone your victim comes from fear, and there is a better way.

Let us show our support for the men who are so brave and courageous to show up and be responsible for their actions and are man enough to treat women and girls with respect.

Let us show our support for women and girls everywhere, and encourage them to embrace their inner mermaid: the part in each of us that has always been smart, strong, brave, confident, beautiful, free, loved and joyful. Feeling brave to feel connected to nature and one another, and follow our hearts, dream our dreams, and make them come true.

To show your support, bid on the original painting, or buy a print, or download a free copy.

Invite your friends and family to this event to celebrate brave men and women, our beautiful ocean, and help end violence towards women.

Big Love and Thank You,
Dila Tawn Pretty Fish
http://www.iloveprettyfish.com
 
  • Place your bid here:
  • The original painting (acrylic on A3 300gsm art paper) is up for auction on TradeMe. The winning bidder will get to choose the type of framing (included).
  • Auction ends at 10pm Auckland time this Sunday 23rd June 2013
  • 100% of profits from the auction are going to White Ribbon New Zealand.
  • High quality art prints (A3) are available for 100 NZD each on TradeMe here
  • Free postage worldwide
  • 5NZD from each sale is also going to White Ribbon New Zealand.
  • A free PDF download of Ocean Fairytale is available when you sign up for free email updates at www.iloveprettyfish.com (Promise no spam!!)
  • Face Book events page

 

Place your bid here: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=605267635

Buy a print here: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=605270742&ed=true

Face Book events page: https://www.facebook.com/events/152345188290013/

 

STOP VIOLENCE IN KAEO RALLY

Kaeo Event header for web

STOP VIOLENCE IN KAEO RALLY

Saturday 22 June from 11am – 2pm at the Kaeo Union Church Hall

Join the township of Kaeo for a Family Day and Fund Raiser for the Kaeo’s Junior Netball teams with speeches, face painting, bands, a sausage sizzle and refreshments. “It’s also an opportunity we are taking to talk about family violence and the violence against our whānau, family and women,” says Hillary Sheard, one of the local organisers.

Hillary Sheard - Kaeo

Hillary Sheard

“Decisions determine destiny, and in our community we need to take the right decisions to end the violence which is destroying lives. That means taking personal responsibility to end the violence of all the members of our community.

“We all have women and children in our lives, and that’s why we are partnering with the White Ribbon Riders who are riding in to support our efforts to draw attention to the violence and our hope that we can find a solution.

White Ribbon Ride coming to a town near you copy

Join the White Ribbon Riders at the event

“White Ribbon asks you to take the pledge to never commit condone or remain silent about violence towards women. You can do this by wearing a white ribbon and showing that you will not condone violent behaviour.

“We know that most people in our community are not violent, but we all know people who are. They can be members of your family, your sports team or your workmates. We are saying that’s it’s not ok to stand by while others are violent. It is our responsibility to take action. That decision to stand up and be counted will determine the destiny of our community.

“Join us on Saturday 22 June at the Kaeo Union Church Hall from 11am to 2pm for a Family Fun Day where you can enjoy the festivities, meet the amazing White Ribbon Riders and most importantly send a signal to everyone in our community, that we will not tolerate the violence any longer.” Hillary Sheard

phil

Phil Paikea

The White Ribbon Riders strongly believe that if our society is to be one in which we all thrive, then men need to stand up. The White Ribbon Campaign presents men as part of the solution and Phil Pikea from the Bream Bay Trust agrees. “It starts with personal responsibility and resonates outwards. We have a responsibility to our families, the people we work with, the mates on your team, our friends. If you as a man stand up and recite the White Ribbon Pledge – to never commit condone or remain silent about men’s violence to women (and children) then we can make a difference. The White Ribbon Riders are coming to this wonderful event to stand with Kaeo, not in judgement, but as men who want to support our brothers.” Phil Paikea

  • For further details of the event contact Hillary Sheard
  • The White Ribbon Riders will be leaving from and returning to Bream Bay with Friday and Saturday meals provided
  • To join the ride contact the Bream Bay Trust
  • Download the poster

RIDER INFORMATION – WHITE RIBBON KAEO RIDE  Saturday 22 June  2013

Contacts:

  • Jackson August – 0211386582
  • Phil Paikea – 0211210763

Aim:  Travel to Kaeo to support community in raising awareness to whanau violence. Meet with locals and other riders to share the kauapapa and to forge lasting friendships.

Route In General:

  • Ruakaka / Kawakawa / Kaeo / Overall kms to Kaeo 140kms – 2hrs 15 min

Timings:  Approx only

Saturday 22 June

  • Briefing 8:30am at Bream Bay
  • Depart from Ruakaka Bream Bay Trust : 9:00am
  • Meet with mid north riders @ Kawakawa Caltex 10:30am
  • Arrive in Kaeo 11:20am
  • Depart Kaeo 2:00pm

Please remember, this kaupapa is drug and alcohol free

No gang patches or back banners to be worn while on the ride… all riders will ride under the white ribbon kaupapa, and will be known as the White Ribbon Riders. In saying that, the organisers acknowledge the mana of each group and independent riders that support this kaupapa.

Matariki Event to commemorate though who have passed away through child abuse or family violence

Matariki 2013 copyCandlelight Vigil – Friday 14th June – 5:30am to 9:00am at the Mangere Mountain

Please RSVP as there will be a light breakfast at the Mangere Hall after the lighting of the candles.

Matariki is known for reminiscing on our history our whanau of our bones. Matariki signals growth it is a time to prepare, it is a time of change, it is a time of action. During Matariki we celebrate what we have and what we have to give. Matariki is our Aotearoa New Year

Tau Huirama - CEO Strategic Relations Jigsaw_Layer 1

Tau Huirama

“Matariki is a time to rejoice and think about the transition of stepping into our Maaori new year. It is a time to learn from the past year and reclaim the better things in life that we have experienced and learnt from in life’s lessons and bring them into the present, and celebrate these successes and using these experiences it is a time to reclaim the future that we want for our families, the future where our wahine and tamariki are safe and where our wahine and tamariki are able to thrive.”

Tau Huirama
White Ribbon Ambassador
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David White and book

David White

“There can be no harsher introduction into the world of family violence than having your daughter murdered by her husband, the man that you had given your daughters hand to, to love and cherish as you had in bringing her up. The expectation that he will care for her as you had. Then the naivety I lived in thinking she was safe, believing her assurances that she was OK. Those false days continue to haunt. Those warning signs casually ignored. The penalty is the way we live now. The penalty is that her murder could have been avoided and I will do all I can to save other parents from living the nightmare. I will continue to speak out and tell our story to help women get out of abusive relationships, to help men seek help, and to encourage others to step in where they see a problem. I believe that no man is free of family violence until all men are free. To that end I will go anywhere and talk to anyone to make our country safer, are you willing to walk with me?”

David White
White Ribbon Ambassador and White Ribbon Rider
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Marcia

Marica Picot

“As a former sufferer of domestic violence, an ex-bully, an over-comer, a wife, a mother and a white ribbon rider, I’m involved in the white ribbon ride each year with my husband. Why, because I believe NZ is suffering from an epidemic of domestic violence and its time that we stand up and say ‘no more!’ Matariki is a time for new beginnings. Let’s make it the beginning of a culture of non-violence.

I belong to this kaupapa because I believe that ‘wahine are worth it!’ I was, and am worth it.”

Marica Picot
White Ribbon Rider
 
download the poster

download the poster

Download the Programme

Download the Programme

Event organised by the Safer Aotearoa Family Violence Prevention Network

Matariki sponsors