White Ribbon welcomes family violence changes

Media Release
15/3/17

White Ribbon welcomes family violence changes

White Ribbon Committee Chair Cam Ronald welcomes the changes to the family violence system, and commends all those who have been advocating and providing evidence to help ensure New Zealand’s response to violence continues to improve.

“Having laws and systems that respond effectively and consistently to incidents of violence is one of the key factors of violence prevention,” says Mr Ronald.

The three new offences of strangulation, coercion to marry, and assault on a family member, all ensure the law is keeping pace with modern society and putting into practice, the evidence from years of research.

White Ribbon is pleased to see that changes that allow a third party to apply on a victim’s behalf and welcomes this response as a move to ensure better protection of vulnerable children. The recognition that offending while on a Protection Order is an aggravating factor in sentencing, (likely to lead to a more serious sentence), further ensures that Protection Orders have real consequences when broken and strengthens an area that was criticised as too weak.

There is a real need to be the fence at the top of the cliff

“However, we must not forget that the legal system only comes into play after violence has occurred,” says Mr Ronald. “White Ribbon believes it is in our best interests of New Zealand to undertake more primary prevention work, as it is this approach which can prevent violence from occurring in the first place and the constant need for more ambulances at the bottom of the cliff”.

This primary prevention need was recently demonstrated by a number of boys in two Wellington schools, where attitudes associated with what is known as ‘rape culture’ became public.

“Laws, and their effective enforcement, can reduce the amount of violence to a certain extent,” says Mr Ronald, “but it is a focus on changing social norms, particularly around gender equity and gender roles, that will really reduce the remaining violence and could have prevented the actions of these Wellington school boys.

“It is these attitudes, that left unchecked or unchallenged, develop into behaviour that condones violence.”

An example that relates to a legal response might be where smoking rates were reduced when smoking was outlawed in public places and or the increased cost of cigarettes. However it was campaigns that focused on the health of children, or living long enough to be grandparents, that got the message across that ‘people like me do not smoke’.

White Ribbon Riders look tough but speak about respectful relationships

This is where campaigns such as White Ribbon, It’s Not OK and other initiatives are so important.

“White Ribbon would like to see a similar priority given to the prevention work of campaigns that target social norms and attitudes, says Mr Ronald. “This, alongside adequate funding for services that are currently stretched by responding to increased reporting, would give a truly comprehensive approach. That would really make a difference and it would help to reduce New Zealand’s unacceptable level of violence”.

Ends

For Interviews contact:

White Ribbon Committee Chair
Cam Ronald
021 645 5155

White Ribbon Researcher and Ambassador
Garth Baker
027 357 7901

Richie Hardcore talks about Porn

White Ribbon Ambassador Richie Hardcore talks about porn on Newstalk ZB. Click HERE to listen.

We need parents and especially dads to step up and start talking to their boys about respectful relationships and respectful sexual relationships. The behaviour within Wellington College and St Patricks Silverstream highlights that boys don’t understand what respectful sexual behaviour is, and that there’s more that fathers can do.

Research commissioned last year by White Ribbon New Zealand found that Kiwi dads rarely discuss the importance of consent and knowing when it is OK or not OK to engage in sexual activity with someone with their teenage sons.

Kiwis might not want to hear this, but rape culture is embedded in most of our high schools and universities – any student will tell you this.

If young men are not receiving good information from their dads (and parents), then they look to their peers, media, movies, the internet and pornography for clues on how to behave.

Many schools are trying to get this information to their students through programmes such as Mates and Dates or Loves Me Not programme and by participating with the White Ribbon Campaign, but as a society we have to do more, and that means dads talking to their sons.

During interviews with men in 2015 we learnt that fathers were uncomfortable talking to their sons about respectful sexual relationships. To find out more we commissioned Research New Zealand to discover what topics fathers were comfortable talking to their sons and daughters about.

Kiwi dads said they least ‘regularly’ discuss the importance of consent and knowing when it is OK or not OK to engage in sexual activity with someone with their teenage sons. 22% said they regularly discuss this, compared with 66% who regularly discussed ‘doing well at school’.

These findings are concerning, because our sons want and need to hear this information from their dads (and parents). If dads don’t talk to their sons, they will go elsewhere and get their information from less reputable sources such as pornography.

Year 9 students suspended from St Patrick’s College Silverstream for inappropriate filming of female staff

Pornography typically shows aggression against women and it intensifies sexist and violence-supportive attitudes and behaviours, as well as increasing sexually aggressive behaviour. Fathers need to counter this with positive talk about consent and showing respect. Research shows that children are being exposed at younger ages to pornography.

White Ribbon Richie Hardcore was exposed to pornography at a young age and now in his 30s he recognises just how harmful pornography is. Listen to Richie talk about the issue here.

White Ribbon also wants to give kiwi dads the confidence and skills to talk about respectful relationships and respectful sexual relationships with their sons. To facilitate this we have created a toolbox for dads and young men. The Start with Respect toolbox gives suggestions to young men on how to have a respectful sexual relationship. We have also created short videos that focus on the top five tips for dads featuring Richie and former All White Harry Ngata. These can be downloaded here.

Download the Toolbox

The research also found that dads with a teenage daughter were twice as likely to ‘regularly’ discuss the importance of consent and knowing when it is OK or not OK to engage in sexual activity with someone with their daughter, than their teenage son.

There is classic double standard with daughters. Dads often want to protect their daughters and therefore have conversations with the aim of keeping them safe. But when it comes to their sons, dads too often think boys will be boys and lack the confidence and skills to have what are vital conversations.

We can’t expect girls to take all the responsibility for their sexual safety; we need to teach our boys to behave respectfully and legally.

As men we can influence the attitudes and behaviour of our sons by talking about, and demonstrating respectful relationships. This emphasises the values and behaviours we want instead of violence and sexual violence.

White Ribbon supports progress of the Domestic Violence – Victims’ Protection Bill.

“This bill helps to address the needs of victims in the workplace as they deal with the effects of violence,” says Cam Ronald, Chair of the White Ribbon Committee.

“While violence often occurs in the home, the impacts of that violence are often felt at work with absenteeism, reduced productivity, and in some cases, the violence forces the victim to quit work.”

White Ribbon is working with businesses to assist them in developing workplaces which are safe from family violence, that will support victims to become survivors and encourage other businesses to demonstrate their support for ending violence in New Zealand.

“We know that together we can reduce violence, and that is why we have launched White Ribbon Accreditation for businesses and organisations. Last November, The Warehouse became the first accredited organisation following their introduction of domestic violence leave and domestic violence training for staff.

“We believe there is a sea change in New Zealand and businesses have begun to understand, that not only does domestic violence hurt the bottom line (profits), but they also have a responsibility as good corporate citizens to become part of the anti-violence solution,” says Mr Ronald

“Providing domestic violence leave is one of many things that a business can undertake to ensure the safety and productivity of their workforce. White Ribbon encourages businesses to get in contact with us if they would like to know how else they can help to reduce family violence.”

For further information on the White Ribbon Accreditation programme email contact@whiteribbon.org.nz

Making Good Men

Kia ora whanau, family and friends

You may be aware that a documentary featuring myself and actor Manu Bennett is to screen on Prime TV this coming Monday night 25^th July on Prime Tv @9.30pm.

It is called Making Good Men and tells a very personal story about me, my whānau and the violence that darkened too many lives; and in particular Manu.

It was extremely difficult story to tell in such a public way.  But, it shows that even after a long period of time some incredible healing can be done.

The power of choice – we all have it!

I hope that people who watch Making Good Men will see that no matter what our situation is. No matter how hard it is, we all have the power to change. It wasn’t easy, but I chose to own the violence and fear that I created, to apologise to Manu and his whānau, to understand my father’s upbringing, suspend judgement and forgive my dad, and to tell our story.

Silence is damaging – silence allows violence to flourish unchecked

One of the things I do now is work with E Tū Whānau (click the link and have a look). One of the values we live by is Korero Awhi.   I have seen how powerful positive and supportive communication can be.  Standing up, speaking out, admitting our mistakes and challenging any violation of ourselves or others now; can create change for today and for future generations. Violence can destroy lives, families and communities. But, it can be stopped.

Forgiveness, aroha, redemption, hope

Forgiveness and aroha paved a pathway to redemption, and redemption created hope. I hope Making Good men will show that even the smallest glimmer of hope can be all that it takes to sow the seeds of change.

I am heartened and feel inspired by the discussion it is creating already.  You can have a look here: http://www.teamokura.com/making-good-men/

I hope you watch it. I hope it helps.  It helped me.

Nga mihi nui

Norm Hewitt

#better than this – a week-long series on family violence by the NZ Herald

The New Zealand Herald have put together a series of articles about family violence in New Zealand called #betterthanthis. White Ribbon commends the Herald for putting together such a wide range of views that focused on what is one of the most serious issues affecting New Zealand. (All content belongs to the NZ Herald and special thanks must go to Anna Leask). Click to view the videos and articles.

Five years ago Emily Longley was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Her father Mark Longley (White Ribbon Ambassador) talks about the terrible toll of losing his daughter.

Read more of this post

Waatea 5th Estate -“Men on Men’s Violence”

Martyn ‘Bomber’ Bradbury on Waatea Television interviewed over a period of two nights, a panel of experts asking why New Zealand men are so violent.

Joining the show to discuss domestic violence in Aotearoa was Psychotherapist Blogger & Broadcaster Kyle MacDonald, Domestic Violence Activist Vic Tamati and social worker & community activist James Papali’i.

Part 2 on Men’s Violence in Aotearoa. Joining the show was White Ribbon Ambassador Richie Hardcore, Operations & Project Manager for Women’s Refuge Rhonda Cox – Nissen, and Ted Ratana from Tane Ora Rehabilitative Program.

Thanks to Martyn ‘Bomber’ Bradbury and waatea news.com

New Zealand Local Hero Finalists

When White Ribbon Ambassador and White Ribbon Rider Colin Agnew was awarded his Kiwibank Community Hero Medal, he was hundreds of miles away on the White Ribbon Ride. His Grandson Flynn stepped in to accept the award and wrote this amazing speech about his Grandfather.

After the White Ribbon Ride he presented the award to his Granddad at home, something he was very proud to do.

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We would also like to congratulate White Ribbon Ambassador Tim Marshall for his recognition for the tremendous work he undertakes in the Gisborne community and at the Tauawhi Mens Centre.

Tim wrote this following his award. “Ehara taku toa, he toa takitahi, engari he toa takitini – as the whakatauki goes – my achievements are not mine alone but that of many that support me. I just want to acknowledge all of the kind words, thoughts and comments that have come my way over the last week. To be acknowledged as a local hero alongside others at a ceremony here last year was awesome, and to go on and have to opportunity to attend last week’s awards – alongside my family and among so many other awesome people was an honour and a privilege.

Tairawhiti is full of local heros doing great things and hopefully I could represent that by my being there. I want to specially thank my Mum & Dad Russell & Barbara, Amiria and Matt and Whetumarama (my greatest supporter) for being there. Also thanks to George & Charly, Phil and Sam (and whanau) for their support from afar and Ngahuia, who nominated me in 2014, which I think indrectly kicked all of this off! Also to my Family Works/PSEC whanau and the members of the Tauawhi brotherhood (and sisterhood) Nga mihi aroha ki a koutou katoa.” Tim Marshall

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Jackie talking about the work of White Ribbon at the awards

Two more White Ribbon Riders were recognised. Neil McKee is the Wellington President of the Widows Sons and is one of the North Island White Ribbon Riders. He was awarded the Local Hero medal for his efforts in promoting White Ribbon and for his work with the ‘Ride of Respec’t and ‘Heart Kids’. He is joined by his wife Alison.

Neil with the CEO OF Kiwi Bank getting his medal

Jackie Adams was awarded a medal for his work in organising the West Coast part of the White Ribbon Ride for the past four years, his work with Te Rito, the charity events he has run for Cancer Care, the RSA, Rescue Helicopter, St Johns and White Ribbon. Jackie was joined by his wife Tara on the night.

Tara, Jackie, Neil and Alison

The Death Review Report

FVDRC co-chair Professor Dawn Elder

The Death Review Report has highlighted a number of issues. One that we feel strongly about is the need to work with men who use violence and also, that agencies need to take responsibility for the safety of family violence victims.