Youth Parliament

Hon Michael Woodhouse, Tim Shiels, Bokyong Mun and Hon David Clark

Youth representatives Tim Shiels, Bokyong Mun and Jacobi Kohu-Morris were all asked about their opinions on violence in our society and the importance of the anti-violence message to New Zealanders. All three of these White Ribbon campaign supporters voiced similar feelings towards male violence against women. Their experience of being Youth MPs has inspired them to become more passionate about equality in New Zealand and hopeful that a non-violent New Zealand will one day become a reality.

The three Youth MPs were asked whether violence was an important issue to them personally as well as to society as a whole. Tim Shiels echoed the feelings of everyone when he said “violence is, and should be, an important issue to all New Zealanders. It is an issue that crosses ethnicities; location; socio-economic classes; and gender.” Violence is a problem for those it directly affects as well as to those it doesn’t. Tim, Bokyong and Jacobi are all fortunate enough to have never experienced violence personally but as Jacobi said “that does not mean to say it doesn’t affect me or people I know. The media publicises cases of violence that definitely strikes a chord for me – and I am sure this is the case for many others also.” New Zealanders from all different and backgrounds and walks of life should be equally concerned with the issue of violence in our country.

Jacobi Kohu-Morris

Men have a big role to play in the prevention of violence, particularly within the White Ribbon campaign. Involvement from men ensures the message connects and is more effective. Having men talk to men is a foundation of the campaign. Bokyong identified that “if we want to address any kind of problem in society, all involved need to take responsibility, not just one party.” Men need to take action and be a positive force within the campaign. It is important that not only men are educated about violence but children as well; wider society needs to be aware of violence.  Tim thinks that “some people find it easy to isolate violence to certain groups within New Zealand. It would be foolish and naïve to do so. Violence can affect all groups in New Zealand, and all New Zealanders. If we all say “it is not my problem”, nothing will ever be done to fix it.” Children will often be under the impression that if something doesn’t affect them then it is okay to not be worried about it. This idea needs to be turned on its head and everyone needs to be aware and understand the importance of confronting this issue.

Tim, Bokyong and Jacobi were asked to describe what a non-violent society for women would look like. Bokyong said it would be a place “where women are not manipulated and abused by men, who resort to expressing their frustration or anger by using violence against women.” Tim said that it would be a society where women are “free from the threat of violence” and Jacobi answered that it would be “a fair and equal society, where the whole family can be happy.”

All three of them felt that their time as Youth MP’s was a very valuable experience, opening them up to an array of new opportunities including their involvement in the White Ribbon campaign, making them more aware of the issues New Zealand society is facing and the improvements that need to take place.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Reflections on a ride

Charlie Moore

For the best part of a week in November last year I had the opportunity, as part of the support team, to accompany the White Ribbon ride up the West Coast of the North Island.  I joined the riders at Kapiti and travelled with them through Palmerston North, Marton, Whanganui, Hawera, Manaia, Stratford, New Plymouth, Otorohanga, Te Awamutu, Hamilton, Manukau and Waitakere.  In addition we visited Whanganui and Waikeria prisons spending time with inmates and staff.

As an itinerary is finalised for the 2013 edition of this ride it seems a good time to reflect on this experience and to think about how communities and groups can best share in the ride and how it can best support our kaupapa – our message of non-violence.

What are the memories that linger this far out?  There were sausage sizzles at every corner, a very large (and noisy) motorbike ridden into a school hall to the delight and nervous surprise of all, a McDonalds taken over by White Ribbon and the riders provided with a free burger (or two), and at every point the roar and the spectacle of 20 or so bikes, white ribbons streaming from the handlebars, making their presence felt.  Vibrations and noise that could not be ignored.

Amos Ale in Raetihi

But at another level it is of course people and relationships that remain.  Stories and shared experiences of how ordinary people overcome extraordinary pain and challenge to live a different kind of life and how optimism and good will survive, sometimes it seems, against all odds.

I have memories of community gatherings in town centres where there was a collective and very public statement that violence against women and children was not OK; of standing in a prison quadrangle hearing young men share their experiences quietly with riders and their desire to change; of excited school children having fun with a group of ‘tough looking’ riders bringing a clear and direct message of non-violence.  And finally of marching through the centre of Henderson as part of a large crowd, led by The Patriots, Te Ahi Kikoha, and local riders and feeling the joy and energy of being a part of something so positive.  A community coming together to claim its own more peaceful and less violent future.

Aaron Morrison in Raetihi

A feature of this ride and of all the events was how inclusive they were and how diverse those participating.  It was a daily reminder that none of us are exempt from thinking about this issue and choosing how we respond (or not) to the violence that features so widely and with such damage in our communities.  It was confronting to witness and experience such good will and hope while at the same time hearing challenging and painful stories and experiences of past and present realities.

So what opportunity does the ride present in 2013 – particularly if they are passing through a place near you?  A few thoughts include:

• A chance to make a public statement about your community and people
• To increase the visibility and awareness of the issue of violence against women and to support and encourage men to stand up and make a positive statement
• To be a rallying call to action in your community
• To meet a great bunch of men and women who are going ‘the extra mile’ and who will inspire and support you in your own action

The White Ribbon Ride is unique to New Zealand – make the most of it!  For more information on the 2013 White Ribbon Ride click here

Charlie Moore

Take The Pledge this November

White Ribbon Chair Judge Boshier

Family violence in New Zealand is a national issue, with one in three women experiencing violence in her lifetime. Despite such high numbers of women experiencing violence in New Zealand, family violence is an issue that typically occurs behind closed doors and is an issue that the majority of society feel uncomfortable talking about. This violence occurs on a continuum, with some violent acts proving fatal for a number of women, whilst others are deemed to be ‘less’ extreme. However, all violence against women, regardless of how bad it is, is unacceptable. And it is time that we, as men, stand up and take responsibility for this violence to activate change among our families, friends, and communities.

The Pledge

This year’s White Ribbon campaign focuses on a call to action, by men (and women and children), to take ownership of violence against women. The Pledge has been a central component of previous campaigns, but it is our sole focus in 2013. The aim of The Pledge is simple: White Ribbon wishes for thousands of men to “promise to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women”. The Pledge is taken online, which means that men will be provided with information via email that will help them build The Pledge into their lives. This information is crucial, as taking The Pledge without following through to make change is simply not enough.

White Ribbon will be developing four short videos to go along with The Pledge. The first video covers what the issue of violence is, the types of behaviours that are unacceptable and what men can do to help reduce violence against women. The other three videos will feature our White Ribbon Ambassadors speaking about the three parts of The Pledge – never committing – never condoning – or remaining silent about violence towards women. These videos will contain easy to digest information and practical ways that men can build these promises into their lives. We believe that this is vital in ensuring that the commitment these men have made through The Pledge is kept, and used to activate change among their families, friends, and communities.

The new logo and pledge

As the emphasis throughout the campaign will be to get men (and women and children) to take The Pledge, we need your support to make this a reality. As you are putting together your events, we ask that you think about the ways you can build The Pledge into your messaging and into the event on the day. As The Pledge can be taken online, you could provide a laptop at your events if that was an option. As well as this, there will be a hard copy version available to be printed that you can encourage your audience to fill out. You can then send the hard copies to the White Ribbon team who can enter the data for you. Lastly, there will be downloadable signage that you can use at your event to support this activity.

Your support and contribution to The Pledge will help to activate change, increase levels of awareness about family violence in the community, and ultimately make our society a safer one for our women and children. So be a part of change and take The Pledge in November for a safer place for our women; those women who are our family, friends and our communities.

Honouring the memory of Patricia Ann McGrath

Patricia Ann McGrath

Patricia Ann McGrath from Northland died in January this year as the result of an assault by her partner, Philip Mahanga. Patricia was a 34 year old mother of two and a case worker at Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ). Her family describe as someone who was very caring and loved to help people; a wonderful and beautiful person. The loss of Patricia has been a huge blow to her family and friends, as well as the community as a whole. Patricia’s death affirms that male violence against women can be fatal and has a detrimental impact on many lives. The following article offers more information about Patricia: Click here to read more.

Enough is Enough is a 27 minute documentary produced by Dean Whitehead and Liz Inch in partnership with Patricia’s family, friends, doctors and police. It describes the awful loss felt by everyone who was close to Patricia and discusses the events leading up to, and following, her death. The three main messages of the video are: that enough is enough – domestic violence must be stopped; that it is important to speak out against family violence; and that people are encouraged to seek help, whether they are the one being abused or if they know of someone experiencing violence.

(L-R) sister-in-law Ivy, Wo & John’s brother Albie, Kate, Wowo and John

Patricia’s family reached out to White Ribbon to help support our anti-violence message, to share Patricia’s story with others and to create awareness about violence against women. Patricia’s brother, John McGrath, said that Patricia “is the catalyst for us to campaign and make people aware of domestic violence and to say no … it’s a powerful message.” It is terrible that it takes such a tragedy for people to become more aware of family violence, but the message that violence is never okay needs to be spread and heard by all New Zealanders.

White Ribbon asked John and Kate McGrath a few questions to grasp more about the documentary Enough is Enough and the message it sends:

Why did you want to make the video?

We wanted to make the documentary because, while no good came come from our loss, we would not have been able to sleep at night unless we did everything in our power to open people’s eyes to the trauma that family violence inflicts not just on the immediate victim, but on their family, friends and community.  Being in the limelight is not something which we are naturally comfortable with, but change isn’t comfortable.  It is a challenge.  It is something we felt needed to happen.  We had to make a stand and say “That’s it! No more.  We could not stand by and LET this happen.

Public display of support

What do you want people to take away from the video?

We want people to get the strength to be courageous.  We also want people to confront their problems and deal with them rather than letting them overrun their lives.  If it helps one person to make positive changes, we have done our job.  At the end of the day, we want people to feel empowered to make more positive choices which will achieve more positive results.

How do you think we can help to address men’s violence towards women?

We need to address men’s violence towards women.  We need to acknowledge that it happens and that it is a choice that some (NOT ALL) men make.  We need to encourage men to take ownership of their emotions and the choices they are making.  We hope that “Enough is Enough” will do that.  We hope that it will open the conversation and that it acknowledges that men are not only allowed to have, but should be encouraged to express, their emotions.  One of the reasons White Ribbon is so good is that it is men acknowledging what is a predominantly a male problem in our society and saying “enough is enough”. Being a man does not have to involve family violence.

The video was funded by New Zealand Police, Ministry of Social Development It’s not OK Campaign and Northland District Health Board. “We could not have done this without them.” Kate McGrath

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Matariki 2013 – Mangere Mountain

David White
White Ribbon Ambassador

There is an old Maori saying that it is a good sign when it rains on a funeral. The Matariki event on Mangere Mountain was held under a constant, cold deluge. I thought back to my daughter Helen’s funeral that was held through a thunder storm. None of us at this event could not but be reminded of why we were there, all of us mindful of those who had died as victims of family violence.

 

That foul weather made us all uncomfortable and wanting shelter, but not as desperately as those victims of abuse with nowhere to hide. A little discomfort for us but a disturbing reminder that we have much to do to put an end to the rampant havoc some too many are inflicting within their families.

 

What we said that morning struck a chord in some and it was well worth getting cold and wet for. Personally, there were four people that I know of that found the courage to ask for help. It’s impossible to say what harm we may have prevented, but from my experience family violence creates devastation and ruins lives. What we do under the White Ribbon banner works and we mustn’t let the impetus subside. We need to continue to speak out at every opportunity – I hope you’ll join me.

David White

White Ribbon Ambassador

Raewyn Bhana – JP
SAFVPN Manager and Matariki Committee Chair

The realization that violence is in every culture, socio-economic cohort and impacts on everyone is a message that we must share with our communities. It’s a simple concept, domestic violence is an issue for all New Zealanders and one that requires action.

 

The Matariki committee that organises this event is made up of Police, Child Youth and Family, Women’s Refuge , Mana Whenua and local not for profit agencies and tertiary providers students. We meet over five months to ensure that we provide a moving and inspirational event to commemorate and acknowledge loved ones that have passed away through domestic violence and child abuse.

 

The candle light vigil brings community, professionals and schools together to acknowledge and look at ways that we can work together to raise awareness and educate our communities about where they can get help.

 

The kaupapa is a taumaha (heavy) and as a committee, we want to ensure the message goes out that there is support for our families from the various agencies present at the event.

 

A repeat offender of domestic violence who is a gang member said ’Our mana whenua are here, I want to get help for my anger. I can’t believe the support we can get. This kaupapa is so touching that it hits home when you see the numbers that have passed away’.

 

We’re already planning for the next Matariki Event and hope we see you in June next year. Lastly the whole committee would like to thank all those who gave their time to put together this event and all the participants who spoke so passionately.

 

Raewyn Bhana – JP

SAFVPN Manager and Matariki Committee Chair

Tau Huirama
White Ribbon Ambassador

Matariki is a time to; Reclaim our best experiences and stories from the past year. Use them to reclaim our present place in society where our whanau are safe.

And to reclaim the future where our wahine are flourishing and our tamaariki are thriving, where our dads are nurturers.

Tau Huirama

White Ribbon Ambassador

This slideshow requires JavaScript.