The campaign posters purposely have a ‘yes’ that is larger and more inviting than the ‘no’. They are conversational in tone and ask men to think about their own relationships and whether they are respectful… or violent. We are purposely wanting men to consider their own behaviour and decide which box describes their behaviour. We want men (and most men are in respectful relationships) to identify with the ‘yes’ message. We want those men (and let’s call it the 80% of men for arguments sake) to stand up for what they believe in. Unfortunately in New Zealand too many men think violence is the norm. To give an example, if a man in a pub makes a derogatory comment about women, most men will look away, smile to avoid conflict or laugh to fit in. The It’s not OK campaign has given us the appropriate language and it’s widely understood that – ‘It’s Not OK’. We need men to understand, that most men will agree with them if they stand up and say it’s not ok. We need other men to know that we have your back. We need men to influence their mates and colleagues. Back to the poster: show respect by letting your partner live her own life and making her own decisions. Being a man doesn’t give you power over your partner or the right to control her. Trying to control her actions, emotions or thoughts is violence, and can be as damaging as hitting her. Let your partner act as she wants and make her own decisions. Treat women as you would want to be treated.

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