Fathers don’t talk to their sons about respectful behaviour to women During interviews with men last year White Ribbon learnt that fathers were uncomfortable talking to their sons about respectful sexual relationships. Recent researched confirmed : • Kiwi dads said they least ‘regularly’ discuss the importance of consent and knowing when it is OK or not OK to engage in sexual activity with someone with their teenage sons. 22% said they regularly discuss this, compared with 66% who regularly discussed ‘doing well at school’. • Dads with a teenage daughter were twice as likely to ‘regularly’ discuss the importance of consent and knowing when it is OK or not OK to engage in sexual activity with someone with their daughter than their teenage son. • Compared with other topics, this was the one that fathers were least comfortable discussing. Kids want to learn how about sexual relationships and if dads don’t talk to their sons they’ll learn from peers, media and pornography. Pornography typically shows aggression against women and it intensifies sexist and violence-supportive attitudes and behaviours, as well as increasing sexually aggressive behaviour. Fathers need to counter this with positive talk about consent and showing respect. White Ribbon wants to give kiwi dads the confidence and skills to talk about respectful relationships and respectful sexual relationships with their sons, so we’ve created a toolbox for dads and five short videos that focus on the top five tips. Five top actions for fathers: 1. Role model respectful behaviour. Show you respect your partner as an equal and communicate respectfully. 2. Be actively involved in raising your kids. This makes them better people and makes you a better person too. 3. Start developing their respectful behaviour early and adjust to their development. 4. Talk about respect as a behaviour. Describe what they can do to show respect. 5. Know they’ll appreciate learning from you. Kids typically want more sex education than they get.

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