White Ribbon on TV

2014 saw the White Ribbon Campaign feature on many major tv programmes. Here’s a quick peak at some of those.

 

SUNDAY – advance screening in Christchurch, Wellington and world premiere in Auckland

Sunday the FilmHelp Sunday support White Ribbon.
$1 from every ticket sold to the following screenings will be donated to White Ribbon & the Canterbury Family Violence Collaboration.
Plus – if you use the promo code WHITERIBBONNZ  you’ll get a 15% discount (excluding Wellington).

  • Tickets to the Advanced Screening Christchurch – Saturday December 6
  • Tickets to the World Premiere  Auckland Sunday December 7
  • Tickets to the Wellington Screening with Q&A at Penthouse Cinema December 7th

Dustin Clare is familiar to many from his roles in television shows like Satisfaction, McLeod’s Daughters, Underbelly and Spartacus. Based in Australia, he and his real life partner, actress Camille Keenan ended up starring in SUNDAY when they were 7 months pregnant with their first child. Dustin took time out of filming his latest project in Turkey to answer some questions about his involvement with White Ribbon for us ahead of his New Zealand visit

Dustin Clare & Camille Keenan are proud to support White Ribbon in their mission to end violence against women.

Dustin Clare & Camille Keenan are proud to support White Ribbon in their mission to end violence against women.

Hi Dustin, You first got involved with White Ribbon in Australia where you’re based. How did that come about?

It was a cause that I saw benefited the community and bettered society in general. So I approached White Ribbon about how I could become involved as an ambassador for the campaign.

What have you learned through your experience working with White Ribbon?

That what they do takes courage. But most of all the grass roots communities that get involved are really the most important part of this campaign. The families, the sporting groups, cultural organisations, community groups, public servants all the wonderful support that gets thrown behind White Ribbon comes from a real passion within communities. And this is where it all starts, at home and in our communities. That’s where we start.

In your opinion, what’s one of the biggest problems young men face in today’s society?

I think the internet has done many great things for communication, but it has also given us access to some things that are not great for developing brains. I think the sexualisation in the media and the overwhelming portrayal of degrading women in pornography has serious implications for society, and far greater hurdles for our acceptance of women being viewed as more than sexual objects in society. It’s important for young men to have access to good information surrounding these issues but more importantly good role models. We want to move forward with equality, not backwards. We need to promote sex in a positive way, not a degrading or violent way. We must talk openly about these issues if we are to combat any future problems that may arise from the advent of technology and the ability for developing minds to be influenced by the negative or harmful use of it. Education is the key. And supporting young men through this is imperative, these men will shape one half of our future.

What’s one of the best things you’ve seen through your work with White Ribbon?

A brave ambassador in Australia, who now does a lot of speaking at various events. He was someone who was a perpetrator of violence of women in the home and community, and he changed, he made actual positive steps to change his behaviour, to understand it, and to grow passed it. And now he is brave enough to stand on stage in front of hundreds of people at a time and speak about it. To talk about his process and how he took steps to change his patterns forever. That takes great courage, to speak about your journey through domestic violence like that. I admire him.

Your new film SUNDAY is helping raise money for White Ribbon ChCh. It’s about a guy who’s going to be a Dad for the first time but isn’t sure if he’s going to be a good Dad or a good partner. You star in it, you wrote it and you produced it. How did it happen?

Sunday

Sunday

SUNDAY has been a heavy collaboration from start to finish between two couples – myself and Camille, and Director Michelle Joy Lloyd and her husband Cinematographer Ryan Alexander Lloyd. I came up with the idea on a sleepless night, wrote it down and sent it out to the team, and we decided to continue with writing and producing the film together. I’m very proud of the film we made, and the themes we are addressing in it. It’s a “late coming of age” story, but it is one familiar for all couples and all relationships, especially those who are about to have or have had children. The film really mirrors the reality of society today, the choice and opportunities that we are offered and how they impact on our relationships and the in-ability to commit to important life choices.

So you’re a Dad now – was it scary? How did you deal with the stress and nerves before? And the sleepless nights after?

Being a dad is the single greatest thing you can do in this world. It gives you perspective, gives you grounding, and gives you a purpose other than yourself. It makes you less selfish, increases your capacity to love. It is a huge gift that comes with great responsibility.

Who do you talk to when things are tough?

My partner Camille first and foremost. Family members, friends. But I think your real support has to be within your home, and you being able to communicate frustrations or anxieties with your partner and find a way to work through them. Sometime things get tough or beyond you or communication breaks down, that’s really when you have to take a break, step away from the situation, gain some perspective on it, then come back to it again with fresh eyes. At the end of it, you still have each other, no matter how tough or momentous the stakes are, if you can try and find strength in that, you will overcome.

Behind the camera - Cinematographer Ryan Alexander Lloyd

Behind the camera – Cinematographer Ryan Alexander Lloyd

Why did you choose to film in ChCh?

We thought that CHCH had been through so much hardship and we really honestly wanted to find a way to give something back to the people and the city. Michelle and Camille had family in CHCH who had gone through the quakes, and are still going through the aftermath. We also see a real theme of hope in CHCH, of creativity and inspiration that has sprung up out of the destruction, and we wanted to make sure that was a big part of the film, to show the hope, the rebuilding, we saw that as much more important that making a comment on the destruction.

The filmmakers behind SUNDAY have decided to raise money for a couple of ChCh charities; how did you decide that White Ribbon ChCh & the Canty Family Violence Collaboration who they work would be one of the two organisations to benefit from SUNDAY?

Christchurch has been through so much, and now the real sense of displacement and fatigue of that city for many…it made sense for us to work with these organisations to help give something back to a city and its people who had been through so much together. Not just thematically, but we also wanted to contribute financially.

Many of the triggers of family violence have been magnified due to stress placed on the city and its inhabitants following the earthquakes 4 years ago. Instead of pressure easing, it’s getting worse as people are feeling worn down, worn out and frustrated. Now more than ever Christchurch needs organisations like the White Ribbon Trust.

As I was already an ambassador for White Ribbon in Australia, and had seen first-hand all the positive work White Ribbon do in the community it was a natural fit to become involved with the organisation in New Zealand and all of the filmmaking team have rallied behind the cause to give back.

 

 

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What we did this White Ribbon Day

There was so much activity this White Ribbon it’s impossible to write it all down. So here are a few pictures that demonstrate our desire as a nation for change.

take note – spoken word competition

take note trophies

take note trophies

The spoken word competition ‘Take Note’ was an event created for high school students to perform poetry that highlighted domestic violence. The event was held on Tuesday the 18th of November in Manukau, Auckland in the Gallery Council Civic Building.

The spoken word competition was an event chosen by the youth themselves using a survey taken at a White Ribbon breakfast in 2013. The competition provided a rare opportunity for the youth to speak up and share their perspectives on family violence.

School students performed pieces of poetry and the top three individuals were awarded trophies.

Take Note was the chosen name for the event, as it urges everyone to look at the problem of family violence in our society and to, take note. So while social worker Diana Vao organised the event it was important that the students played a central role said Diana as “the youth are going to be the new leaders of our society.”

“The youth of New Zealand are usually only seen, not heard” Diana said. And through this competition they were able to share what she thought was a “simplistic way of looking at the problem of family violence, and how to deal with it.”

Every contestant was a strong believer in standing up to family violence, and talking about this problem in a way that did not stigmatize anyone. The students faced the problem head-on; discussing subjects that they feel are usually ignored by the older generations.

“The students brought a freshness,” said Diana, “and a sense of innocence to the subject of family violence.”

There was an undeniable urgency behind the words and the competition introduced an innovative way of talking about family violence. There are already plans to run the event again in 2015.

And the winners were:

  1. KATRIANA TAUFALELE : “BEHIND CLOSED DOORS”
  2. FAGA TUIGAMALA: ” WINDOWS AND CURTAINS”
  3. PAULINA TAPUAI-SOTI “STOP”
 Read the spoken word pieces on the next page
 

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NEVER CONDONE VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN

Taking The Pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women means a better life for you and those close to you. Part two of The Pledge.

When you tolerate or accept violence to women, it sends the message to others that violence is okay. By acting as if violence is acceptable, you help violence to continue by creating an environment that supports violence. When children see adults fail to act, they can think violence to women is acceptable.

Condoning violence against women happens in many ways:

  • Making or laughing at sexist jokes
  • Not challenging violence against women so people assume its normal
  • Excusing or minimising violent behaviour
  • Sharing degrading messages, photos, videos or links on sites like Facebook and Twitter
  • Sending emails and text messages showing violence against women
  • Telling others to ‘harden up’ or ‘be a man’ when they challenge violence to women
  • Smiling, laughing or giving the thumbs up when men talk about being violent to women.

Violence against women is never okay, not condoning violence looks like:

  • Sharing messages and videos online that challenges violence to women
  • Speaking out against comments that put women down or treat them like property
  • Treating women with respect
  • Take action; make sure it is safe for you and others
  • Let your kids know violence against women is not okay

Not condoning violence to women can make a change for many. Wear a White Ribbon to show you support men’s action to end violence to women

NEVER REMAIN SILENT ABOUT VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN

Taking The Pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women means a better life for you and those close to you. Part three of The Pledge.

Remaining silent about violence against women is ignoring it and doing nothing to challenge it. This impacts on all women and contributes to a culture where people don’t feel able to speak up and violence to women continues.

There are many instances and situations where men may remain silent about violence against women. For example:

  • Knowing that violence is occurring and doing nothing
  • Not making a stand when violence is happening
  • Not challenging others when they make sexist jokes, comments or display sexist behaviour

When you challenge violence against women it is important to say what you don’t like, why, and what you think should happen. “Bro when you put down your partner she looks frightened, you need to stop or you will lose her”. When you challenge violence, it gives others permission to do the same.

There are a number of ways you can do this:

  • Take action when you see violence happening, make sure it’s safe, if you can, get others to help
  • Take part in collective action that prevents violence against women, such as taking The Pledge, wearing a White Ribbon and getting involved in community organisations and events
  • Encourage men who use violence to seek help to live violence-free lives
  • Challenge sexist jokes, comments or behaviours and let people know you think it’s not okay
  • One person speaking out can make a change for many. Wear a White Ribbon to show you support men’s action to end violence to women

 

NEVER COMMIT VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN

Taking The Pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women means a better life for you and those close to you. Part one of The Pledge.

Men CAN stop violence towards women. The first thing men can do to stop violence is to understand what it is and the harmful impact it has.

Violence is any action that controls through fear. It can be physical or non-physical. It can happen in front of others, but is often hidden and occurs in private.

Physical violence is:

  • Pushing, hitting or punching
  • Kicking, biting, choking and strangling
  • Using weapons
  • Forcing someone to have sex or do sexual things when they don’t want to

Non-physical violence is:

  • Standing over her, yelling or screaming
  • Destroying things precious to her
  • Threatening to hurt her, or someone close to her
  • Constantly criticising and putting her down
  • Using fear or guilt to control her actions
  • Controlling and monitoring her money
  • Using the children against her

Violence has a huge impact. It can make women feel fearful, sad, isolated, lacking in confidence, angry and suicidal. In some cases, violence against women results in severe injury, or even death. The feelings that violence causes can last for a long time, and it is often not just the woman who feels this way. Violence affects everyone, especially children, whānau, friends and communities as a whole. Violence also affects those who use it, often making them feel sad, isolated, ashamed, and frightened of losing relationships.

There are things you can do so that you don’t use violence and act safely. You can:

  • Know what behaviours are abusive and controlling and what alternative behaviours are OK
  • Know your warning signs and triggers, get in control of yourself early
  • Stop, think, what impacts and costs your actions will have? Choose a time for both of you when you can talk calmly and openly about your feelings
  • Chill out, walk away from a potentially violent situation

Violence hurts everyone. A life lived in fear is not a life fulfilled. It is important that all men do whatever they can to ensure that women are safe. Here are some ideas:

  • Understand what violence is and what is not ok. Check out whiteribbon.org.nz for more information.
  • Speak up and ask for help. Talk to others, you don’t need to do this on your own.
  • If someone is in danger, call the Police even if you are not sure
  • Don’t join in conversations that put women down, or share images that degrade women and treat them as just a body, not a person.
  • As a family, teach men and boys respect for women. Be proud that your family respects and protects!
  • Listen to women; learn from their experiences of abuse and violence. Understand the impact that violence has had on them and what you can do to make a difference.
  • Support women to be independent and live without fear. Be proud that this is what happens in your family.
  • When you make mistakes, face up, take responsibility and put things right.
  • Be proud, wear a White Ribbon to show you are part of a men’s movement to promote respect and end men’s violence to women

These are just a few of the many ways that men can ensure that they do not commit violence against women and prevent their families from committing it as well. By taking the Pledge, you have promised to never commit violence against women. These strategies will help you uphold this promise. You CAN stop violence against women.

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