Help to change your behaviour

Help to change your behaviour | Nine common myths and misconceptions | Practical things men can do
Supporting victims | Thirteen steps men can takeWhere to go for help

It is OK to ask for help if

  • you are worried about relationships in your family. Every person in a family whatever their age, status or gender deserves to be treated with respect. When blaming, criticising, arguing or withdrawing dominate family relationships get damaged.
  • you or other family members are scared or frightened. Are you at risk? Sometimes it’s hard to know how serious things are getting. If you are scared or frightened about being hurt, then it is already serious.
  • you don’t like your own behaviour . If family members show fear of you, find you hard to talk to or feel they have to do what you want them to, you might need to consider changing your behaviour.
  • you are worried about someone else and want to know how to help them . This could be a friend, neighbour, family member, child’s friend, or workmate. Often people who are experiencing violence feel isolated and ashamed, your support could be vital.

If you don’t like the violence that is happening in our community and want to do something about it – check out the Get Involved section on the It’s Not OK website.  The It’s Not OK campaign’s Community Action section also has ideas, strategies and success stories for preventing family violence in your community.

Family violence thrives in secrecy – don’t keep it a secret if you are experiencing violence, using violence or witnessing violence in a relationship or family you know.

Before you decide where to go for help, here are somethings you might like to find out:

  • What experience in working with family violence does the service/ person have?
  • What will it cost?
  • What sort of service will they offer – will you be in a group; will it be individual, couple or family work?

Most services require you to go and talk to someone, but you can often phone first and get more information before you meet.

The National Directory is a searchable online database. It lists information about social service organisations who provide services and programmes for New Zealand families (we call these organisations “Providers”).

An 0800 Family Violence Information Line (0800 456 450) provides self-help information and connects people to services where appropriate. It is available seven days a week, from 9am to 11pm, with an after-hours message redirecting callers in the case of an emergency.

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